


Search and Rescue

by qolden



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Broken Bones, David Acting as Max's (Camp Camp) Parental Figure, Don’t copy to another site, Found Family, Hospitalization, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Major Character Injury, Max (Camp Camp) Angst, Mental Instability, Needles, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Since y'know, Team as Family, Whump, Yikes, but i promise he's okay, harrison and neil FIGHT, its cause of the shock, its fun, max literally gets IMPALED, only for a few days, ready for the sad?, selective muteness coming up, some unexpected relationships in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2020-09-28 04:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qolden/pseuds/qolden
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple Search and Rescue Camp, as David had called it.Instead, now all of the campers are split up during a heavy thunderstorm, Max is injured and Neil and Harrison don't know what to do or how to help, Preston, Nerris and Nikki nearly drown, while Nurf, Space Kid, and Dolph are just trying to survive with the mudslide in their way. Ered runs to get help like any Unofficial Big Sister would, but she ends up lost with two terrified counselors trailing her.Stay on the trail. If only Max had stayed on the fucking trail.





	1. Not a Damsel In Distress

David didn’t like this protocol, now that he looked back on it. He didn’t like it one bit. But it’d surprisingly worked for generations of campers before these ones, so he had to trust it. Straightening himself and clearing his throat, he lifted his head with a shaky smile to meet the faces of the ten angry campers staring sharply at him, as they always did.

“Alright, campers!” He chirped, voice wobbly. “Today we’re going to be doing Search and Rescue camp, with some of Mr. Campbell’s old procedures!” He still didn’t like this, but there was really no other way.

Gwen shot him a questioning glance, which meant she’d never been over this before. “So, how  _ does  _ this even work?”

David tore away from her gaze, quietly flipping through the pages on his clipboard one last time. Dread settled in his stomach. The eerie silence of the campers watching him with confused eyes made him straighten his posture, putting on a mask of confidence. This was what Mr. Campbell did, he assured himself. They’d be fine.

“We’re going to be sending one camper on some of our clearer trails!” He announced with a usual wide smile. The campers didn’t seem surprised by this; the camp was shady anyway, and they’ve been through enough. “They’ll be given about ten minutes to be able to hide somewhere around the trails, and then we’ll split campers in groups of three to search for them. You can use any skills to find them, simple enough!”

“That sounds FUN!” Nikki howled first, and the campers instantly burst into a ruckus of excited chattering, seemingly ignoring David standing there, sweating nervously. Gwen rubbed the back of her neck with an exasperated sigh. She didn’t seem nervous either. Maybe it was just a bad feeling of his?

“Alright,” Gwen stood up, clear venom in her tone which caused David to flinch, “Any of you shits want to volunteer as a tribute to go out alone for a while?”

There was a long moment of silence, perhaps contemplation. On one hand, it was like a game of hide and seek. On the other hand, it was a chance for them to pair up with their friends and have fun for a while. David’s hands began to tremble.

“Yeah, what the fuck, I’ll go.”

David and Gwen’s gaze shot to the small camper next to Neil. Max looked tired, per usual, leaning against the taller boy’s shoulder and browsing David’s phone (which is probably where his phone had been for like… a week, now). A foreign emotion flashed in Gwen’s eyes, which only made David’s anxiety peak as he tried to keep calm.

“Max- I… okay, are you sure?” Gwen mumbled, a lot quieter and less aggressive than she had been. “You know you could get lost out there.” Really confirming David’s anxieties in that situation.

The low mumbling came to a halt as Max looked up at the woman, jade eyes cold yet analytical.  _ “Gwen.  _ First of all, you fuckin’ know that I’m not going to get lost. Besides! I have David’s shitty phone, I can just call your ass if I lose my way.”

Gwen shut her mouth and clenched her jaw.

“Alrighty, Max!” David purred, marching over to the group of campers who spoke to each other quietly under their breath, some even gesturing to each other, probably with the intent to pair up. “Please don’t go off the trail. You can have a ten minute head start, too, just for the extra challenge! For us, of course.”

“Alright, alright, Jesus.” Max waved his hand dismissively, stuffing David’s phone in his pocket and pushing Neil lightly away, perhaps a thoughtful movement to tell Neil he was moving. Did they usually do that? David didn’t pay attention to those little things unless there were specific circumstances.

Neil stared at Max with a look akin to concern as the boy gave a peace sign and began to walk away, seemingly into the woods. David watched as Neil attempted to meet Nikki’s glance, who seemed to be bouncing around with Nerris and Dolph, and then successfully met eyes with Gwen. Why  _ was  _ Neil so concerned? David gave a mental note to ask later, calmly setting his clipboard down and clapping his hands together as Gwen talked to Neil under her breath.

“Alright, everyone!” David chirped, “Get into groups of three, and then you’ll be sent off! Good luck!”

* * *

Fuck, this was stupid.

Max knew this, and he wanted to scream, mostly at himself. But he had to admit that he needed  _ time  _ from people. All of their stupid, ingenuine grins and David’s annoying-ass chattering, Nikki constantly… just… tackling him, Neil’s disgusting rambling that Max could never break away from, and the others being so loud. He guessed that he’d only be out for twenty or thirty minutes, but any time was good. Maybe he could actually fucking sleep this time.

Maybe… if he… hm. Max stopped once he was further in the trail, glancing around at his empty surroundings. The soil under his shoes clearly left an obvious trail to his area, which meant finding him would be easy. Too easy. If he wanted this to be a challenge, he’d have to make it a challenge, which meant he’d get more alone time to enjoy his thoughts. The things that he actually liked to do.

_ Please don’t go off the trail. _

Max clenched his fist, eyes darkening.  _ Y’know what David? Specifically today, fuck you.  _ His blank stare into the shadows of the woods darkened as he stomped out of bounds, disappearing into the woods, proud of himself for defying David once again, even in his little ways. His path would end there to everyone else, which meant they’d check other trails, or make assumptions. Perfect.

He continued walking until he couldn’t see the trail behind him, a genuine grin painted on his features. Max then stopped in place, feeling the gentle breeze in his hair, sitting down in the grass with a relieved sigh. His feet were  _ burning  _ due to the rocky surface, and his shoes weren’t exactly the best for that. He didn’t have any other shoes than his usual, so he didn’t have much of a choice anyway.

He didn’t know how long he sat there before he opened his eyes again, huffing something inaudible between his teeth. He peered behind his shoulder and froze in his spot, relief dying down. The teeth of irritation finally seized is heart as he hopped to his feet, glancing around with anger. Which way was the trail again? How long had he been sitting here? Would the search party know that he’d wandered off.

Fuck, now he felt bad about it. Not exactly what he was going for. He looked at the sky again, mostly for relief, and noticed it had darkened to more of a... grayish-blue color. The atmosphere was a lot more dreary, cooling down. Slapping a mosquito on his cheek, Max grumbled enough curses to make a sailor blush and stood up, panic bubbling in his chest as he turned to walk back where he had assumed he would’ve been. 

It’d be okay. Because he was Max, and he was not a fucking damsel in distress. He’d be fine. One of the groups would find him, or he’d discover one of the trails and make his way back to camp, or maybe he’d have to sleep in the woods just this once. He’d done it once before, with Sasha and Pikeman.  _ But the others hadn’t found him. He’d come back on his own. _

A raindrop hit the bridge of Max’s nose.

He stopped.

_ Fuck. They weren’t going to find him like this. _

Max had walked a while in the afternoon heat, glancing around as more drops of water hit him on the head. Walking this long made his ankles and feet hurt as the fatigue, mixed with the fear of his situation set in. How long had he been out here? It must’ve been at least a half and hour, so he couldn’t have gone far. Maybe they were still hopeful and looking for him. 

Dark clouds continued forming overhead as he sat down, contemplating his options. He lazily pulled his hood over his head as the rain began to fall at a light pace, nothing noticeably bad. Just a simple rainstorm, so he couldn’t sleep out in the open like he’d initially hoped. Pulling David’s phone out of his pocket, he checked the reception and scowled when it wasn’t working. Which meant he might have to get to a higher vantage point. 

That could work. He’d deal. He’d have to. Max felt a lightbulb go off in his brain. Possibly better reception to call Gwen and inform her of the situation, and maybe even to see his location and find camp so he could go to a trail and get found for the sake of the activity. He hated himself for thinking about the activity at all. They were tasked with finding him anyway, so maybe getting a random group ice cream was okay. Fucking Christ, this was blown out of proportion and he hated it.

Max grinned at his expert thinking and moved to the closest, biggest tree around him. How was he going to climb it anyway? There were enough thick low branches, but quite a lot of gaps in between them. So he’d have to be careful, especially since the falling rain that sent a chill through his hoodie and into his bones would make it a lot slippier. 

Grappling onto one of the low branches, he heaved himself up, repeating the process with the next one. He was higher up than he had expected, but not enough to see more of his surroundings. The rain began to become more noticeable, and a shitton more irritating. The sky had completely darkened as the clouds bunched up, blocking the sun out of the skies. It almost felt like fucking nighttime… was it at this point? He hadn’t been paying much attention.

Max continued his slow climb to the top until he found himself at a very intimidating height, maybe twenty feet, shivering as the temperature dropped. His hoodie felt so thin in this cold. He pulled his hood a bit further over his head, trembling profusely as he looked around. 

No sight of the trail.  _ No sight of anything he could recognize. _

He pulled David’s phone out of his pocket and checked the reception. Nadda. He was alone, and he didn’t know where camp was, and he couldn’t jump off because he’d probably die, or slam his head against the rock that he could barely make out in the gloom that was far below him… or maybe that branch… fuck.

_ Fuck… Fuck... FUCK!  _ This had been blown out of proportion, and now he was lost and absolutely fucked.  _ Please don’t go off the trail. Please don’t go off the trail. Please don’t go off the trail… Unfuck David, I guess. Maybe he actually meant something. _

_ Search and Rescue camp is a load of bullshit. Maybe I’ll make Nikki do it next time. _

Hands digging deep into the bark, he looked down at the convenient branches he’d used to get up. They were looser than he’d assumed; he didn’t know if he could get down again, which meant he might have an issue. 

Mumbling multiple of his vague ideas under his breath, he stared into the distance, which was just forest, forest, and more forest. He must’ve walked the wrong way, and these woods stretched through hundreds of miles. His little feet could’ve maybe taken him ten miles away from the camp, which meant he’d have to do more walking. Maybe he could try climbing hire, but there wasn’t any chance he could get down…

_ Not a damsel in distress,  _ he reminded himself, absorbing himself in his scattered thoughts, jade eyes narrowing. The rain was terrifyingly cold… since when had he felt this cold before? Damn, he hated rainstorms. Just annoying rain.

A clap of thunder terrified him out of his thoughts. The branch under him cracked.

_ SHIT. _

Panic rose into his throat, and Max absolutely hated the surprised cry that ripped out of him. He should’ve called for help or done  _ something.  _ Then there was weightlessness, a feeling of falling as his eyes welled with tears. He was so high up and there was no way he’d get out with any injuries and holy shit he was going to  _ die. _

Thud.

Pain ripped through his abdomen, more sharp than he’d expected. Max gave a few horrified, frantic gasps as spots of black appeared in his blurred vision, pain running throughout his whole body. He continued to curse instead of cry out, though his throat began to hurt. Blood pooled in the grass as he attempted to get a look at his injury, to no avail. He couldn’t make anything out. Another clap of thunder, except this time he couldn’t move…  _ he couldn’t move.  _ The tears blended in with the rain as he flopped helplessly against the ground, deep breathing becoming shallow.

He tasted his own blood. It was so dark… everything was so dark… something had intruded him…  _ through  _ him. Had that branch actually impaled him? Was it a different branch? Was it… his vision blurred again as his eyes fluttered closed. Any of his questioning thoughts were overwhelmed with pain, and  _ damn…  _ so he really  _ was  _ going to die here.

_ Please don’t go off the trail. _

_ Sorry, David. _

He gave up from any attempt to protect himself, the sharp tang of blood the last thing he thought about as he finally blacked out. 


	2. Swept Into A Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Harrison have a problem. Nikki, Nerris, and Preston are kind of lost. Nurf, Space Kid, Ered, and Dolph are just trying to survive. The storm becomes more powerful in the meantime.

There were three things that made Neil  _ absolutely hate this activity.  _

One, he’d somehow been convinced to wander off the trail, because “that’s what Max would do” (first of all, he was absolutely right, and Neil fucking hated it). Two, they were lost in the woods in the middle of a  _ thunderstorm,  _ the rain chilling Neil down to the core. And three, he had to be out, lost in the woods, far away from the trail, in the pouring rain…

With fucking  _ HARRISON. _

Harrison was the closest thing that he had to a nemesis in this fucking camp. They usually never got along; though it wasn’t as bad as it was earlier in his time at camp, they still argued constantly, usually over the use of magic. In the company of other people, it’d be just fine. But without others, aka he’d been the odd man out since Max was gone, he’d have to be alone. With Harrison. The magic kid, destroying all of his scientific beliefs. In the woods.

Neil wasn’t happy about it, to state lightly. He trudged through the bushes with Harrison trailing him, kicking away leaves and sticks and bushes that annoyed him, his usual deer-like attentiveness basically gone. He was shivering as well; the rain was getting to him, and he wished he’d worn a coat. Usually the thunder would’ve scared him, but this was a different situation. He was too busy wallowing in his self-pity.

And then Harrison suggested, “Hey, uh… Neil? Maybe w-we should go back…” For the first time in what felt like decades since they’d followed Max’s footprints in the soil and into the woods, Neil felt like he wanted to  _ explode. _

Neil whirled around, causing Harrison to jump back with shock, readjusting his hat as he lowered his head worriedly. “I don’t even know where we are,  _ Harrison!” _ Neil replied, voice shrill on the verge of panic, “How about you do some of your ‘cool magic stuff’ in order to get us out of here?! If you’re apparently that good at it!”

The lanky boy frowned, eyes widening to a comical extent before he blinked. Gulping, clothing stained and wet with the rain he clenched his gloved fists and shook his head sadly. “I-I don’t… know how my magic works, Neil… I just…”

Neil’s anger simmered down, eye twitching as he tried to get over that brief interaction. A clap of thunder and a distant strike of lightning caused both of the tall boys to jump, glancing around at the cloudy sky with shock.

Pulling his act together, Neil shook his head, wiping some of the water off his face. His voice was a lot softer now, more composed, but still edged with panic. “Shit… just… What do you know, then?” 

Harrison frowned. “I… I dunno. Only simple stuff. I don’t think I know teleportation… I can levitate stuff sometimes… but not enough to-” Distant thunder caused him to jump again as he whimpered. “-to help us. Do you think Max is out here?”

The question felt a lot different in Neil’s brain.  _ Is Max stupid enough to wander out like this?  _ He was going against David’s direct orders, going into the woods where it’d be quiet but a lot more dangerous. Though, knowing Max, he probably couldn’t have gotten hurt, since he wasn’t  _ that  _ stupid.

Did Harrison really think he had an answer? Maybe he thought Neil was smart, and tried to desperately cling to that. Neil  _ was  _ smart, but Max was just as much, if not more clever. And definitely unpredictable, so he couldn’t even read him or his emotions most of the time. Hell, sometimes Max would act like an asshole and shove him away despite feeling like shit and needing a hug. So, he responded softly, “...Don’t know.”

That didn’t seem to relieve Harrison at all. The magician craned his head forward, shivering in the rain, the smallest of thunder going off. Then he raised his head with a look of determination in his eyes and padded forward. “Guess we’ll see then!” It sounded awkward and forced, but Neil had to accept it.

They walked in silence for about ten minutes before Neil decided to pipe up, because at this point they were just walking in circles and it was getting irritating. It was dark and things were hard to distinguish, but Neil was pretty sure he’d seen that tree at least three times already, and it was seriously fucking with his brain. “Harrison.”

“Yeah?” The boy replied.

“We’re not getting anywhere.”

Harrison stopped, and Neil was able to catch himself before he crashed into his back. Neil sighed heavily, feeling his chest rattle with the effort as he bit his lower lip to stop his chattering teeth. “How about we go a different way?” Harrison offered.

“We’d just get  _ more  _ lost!” Neil shoved him roughly, in which Harrison yelped and moved backwards, holding his arms out as if to block an attack. Neil stopped, reading him for a long moment.

He wasn’t exactly the best at reading people, but he was sure that the gesture was understandable. He was being kind of a dick. “Look!” He snapped, venom laced in his voice. “You can lead the way, but if we go in circles again, I will actually strangle you.”

Harrison whimpered and lowered his gaze, “Yeah… sorry. Sorry.”

Neil’s initial response would’ve been something even ruder and definitely more vulgar, but he bit his lip as Harrison walked in the opposite direction as before, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for the kid he’d just almost assaulted. Maybe if they’d found Max, they’d be able to get out of this rain, or Max would at least know what to do. That’s what Max was good at, right? Leadership.

“Yeah, whatever,” Neil mumbled under his breath, eyes darker than usual. Man, the rain fucking sucked.

* * *

“Woah, guys, look! I found water!”

Nerris bounded up to where Nikki was, eyes glimmering with confidence. “Woah, it’s the river!” She marveled with the same amount of excitement as her comrade, bouncing up and down. Nikki seemed a lot more excited than she was, eyes glittering with so many emotions that it was surprising.

“You seeing this, Preston?” Nikki called from behind her shoulder. If she had a tail, it would’ve been wagging as she looked at the taller boy who was hiding underneath a tree, like it’d help his situation.

“No!” Preston snapped in response, “It’s another excuse to get wet! I don’t like it!” 

Nerris chuckled nervously, while Nikki frowned and then continued to marvel by the riverbed. Of course they’d wandered off the trail. Nikki was absolutely  _ feral,  _ hardly even human, and she’d gotten distracted. Especially when the storm had kicked up. Preston was especially livid about this, not liking that he got his beautiful clothing wet, while Nerris was pretty neutral on the situation. What had Neil said in one of those old lessons and rambles of his… rivers usually lead to civilization? Yeah! They’d be fine! Nerris smiled proudly as Nikki finally died down, her exaggerated spunk turning into the typical kind.

“We should stay here for the night!” Nikki suggested proudly, “We can huddle up for warmth like a wolf pack!” She gestured back to Preston, who gasped with offense and backed into the trunk of the tree.

“What about the MUD on my PERFECT CLOTHING?” Preston snapped in response, eyes comically wide. “I can’t sleep out here! I have things to do, like write my plays and work on my next-!” 

“Hmm… do you not wanna get wet?” Nikki hopped over and sat down next to him, smiling, “Nerris, how can we stop him from getting wet?”

“We can use my cape as protection!” She added helpfully, following over and sitting next to the two of them with a kind smile. She looked back at the river, not far from their location, and frowned. The water already seemed to be rising… there probably wouldn’t be much of a problem. “Hmm… Yeah! Protection.”

Nikki grinned and looked back at where Nerris had seemed uncomfortable with, tipping her head to the side. She didn’t seem to notice the problem, glancing back at Preston, who was sitting on the biggest rock he could find, trying to get out of the wet soil. “So! Guys, where do you think Max is?”

Woah, they’d really gotten distracted about that, hadn’t they? Now they were in the middle of the forest, and only God knew where. To be honest, Nerris trusted Nikki to get them back by the end of the trip, since Nikki was the forest expert out of all of them. She couldn’t help but hum in thought, contemplating the smaller girl’s question. “Probably somewhere deeper out there,” She replied, “He’s chaotic neutral, nobody knows!”

Nikki giggled and fell back into the soil, mud all over her hair already. “I dunno what that means, but that sounds pretty close!” Nerris nodded excitedly, happy to keep her mind off the rising anxiety of the river.

“I don’t care,” Preston replied sharply, “He’s a buffoon anyway, he can get stabbed by a stick for all I care.”

“That sounds pretty specific, Preston,” Nikki commented with a quiet purr after her words, laughing mostly to herself as she sat up again, “I guess Neil and Harrison found him already. Neil’s pretty smart, so he’ll know.”

Nerris nodded, agreeing with the Neil part of things. “Harrison’s not smart. He’s got a dumb face, soooo.... You think the others are back at camp?”

“Maybe they can go search and rescue  _ us,” _ Preston replied hopelessly, grabbing a stick and doodling in the mud. Nikki noticed what he was doing and grabbed her own stick, chewing it in half and copying his movements with her own little doodles of a bear. Preston didn’t seem very amused by this.

“I like it out here!” Nerris replied, completely distracted from the previous thing that had been on her mind. “It’s quiet, the river is super pretty, and the rain is cold and wet but I’m having fun! You two are so cool.”

Nikki’s eyes lit up, “I think you’re cool too, Nerris!”

“Thank you,” Preston accepted the compliment quietly.

“You guys wanna sleep now?” Nikki offered.

Nikki, without warning, slumped down in the mud, splashing it in all directions. It splashed Preston’s pants, to which he gasped exaggeratedly and shrieked. A bit of it landed on Nerris’ cheek, causing her to giggle and calmly wipe it off. “Let’s go a bit out into the grass instead,” Nerris offered.

Nikki nodded, chirping compliments to the both of them. Preston continued to attempt to wipe the mud off his pants, getting on his knees next to Nikki, very annoyed now that he was out of the tree. The rain was a lot more noticeable, but at this point the thunder and lightning seemed distant to them. As long as they had each other, Nerris felt like she could conquer the world. Maybe they were a bit off trail, but they were okay. 

“Can we go back instead?” Preston offered one last time as Nerris settled down next to him, and man, all of this had really left her fatigued. There was a dull ache in her legs from all of the walking, which she wasn’t used to, since DnD was usually played by sitting down. She glanced at Preston, eyelids fluttering tiredly with an apologetic smile.

“Nah, we’re gonna sleep!” Nikki replied cheerily, yawning and curling up next to her, pulling Nerris’ cape over her like a blanket, which only caused them to become closer together. “Join in, Preston. Ooh, or you can be our bodyguard!”

“Bodyguard,” Preston deadpanned, “I’m built for acting, not fighting, for your information!”

“But you’re like, tall,” Nerris replied as it was obvious, “But do you want to sit down in the rain or sleep in the wet grass? Your choice.”

Preston’s lip wobbled and he curled up next to them. Nerris’ cape was hardly enough to drape over two people, but she made it work, especially since they were so close together. After they finally got comfortable, exhaustion finally settled over Nerris, and she fell right asleep, eyelids fluttering closed, Nikki’s rhythmic snoring really helping, surprisingly.

Nerris forgot all about the river as she drifted off into sleep.

* * *

“Get outta the waaaaayyy!”

Nurf’s arm wrapped around Space Kid’s shoulders in seconds as he took a bounding leap, yelling something that seemed scattered in Space Kid’s mind. But they were off the trail now, and Ered had carried Dolph to safety, which meant something had gone wrong. The storm had caused something bad.

Space Kid peeked from Nurf’s arm to see  _ mud.  _ Thicker than the trail they’d originally trekked on. Roaring down the hill they’d walked up like a river. He looked at Nurf, who looked nearly concerned; uncharacteristic for him, but he’d just saved Space Kid from a  _ mudslide.  _ Which meant it was really bad.

“Cool,” Space Kid uttered his first thought. All of this was scarily cool.

Nurf suddenly dropped him and backed away a bit more. “Damnit!” He snapped angrily, which surprised him. Ered dropped Dolph a second after, and the latter raced to Space Kid, barking apologies at him like it was his fault.

“Are you okay?” Dolph asked frantically.

Space Kid laughed, “Yeah, I have my helmet!” It was obvious. If he’d been lost in the mudslide, his helmet could’ve protected him and he wouldn’t have drowned. But now he had to think about how it would’ve gone, and Space Kid didn’t like thinking.

“Where are we?” Space Kid asked, eyes wide as saucers as he looked at… basically the two adults in this situation, or the older ones at least. Ered and Nurf just looked confused, like they didn’t have much of an answer to that question.

Space Kid had been pretty eager to go with Nurf and Dolph, since Nurf had gradually calmed down, and Dolph was surprisingly nice. Except, this time, Gwen had decided that their team wouldn’t be efficient (which probably meant she thought Nurf was going to punch them or something) and ended up placing Ered on the team. Which wasn’t exactly a problem, since she was cool. Really cool.

“This is… totally uncool,” Ered decided, which kinda countered his thoughts. “Dudes, how are we gonna get back to camp in the rain like this?” She was actually the only one wearing a jacket on the team, like she’d come prepared. 

Space Kid had forgotten about the rain, since it just bounced uselessly off his helmet. He frowned, contemplating the question. “...Why don’t you go back to camp?” He suggested casually, “We can wait here and you can get David and Gwen! Gwen will know what to do!”

Ered sighed, “But, what if you get swept away?” She craned her neck forward.

“We have Nurf to protect us!” Dolph piped up, patting Nurf’s arm with one hand, “I’ve worked with Nurf before, und he’s very strong.” 

Ered looked up at Nurf for confirmation. The bully shrugged, but nodded back, which seemed even more out of character for him. Considering their situation, they all had to make tough decisions here. Space Kid sat down in the grass next to Dolph, watching the mud roll by in waves. Did the others get caught in it? He hoped not.

“Okay,” Ered said, softly, “I’ll be back in like… thirty minutes. See you later, bros.”

Dolph waved cheerfully as the older girl raced off, disappearing into the shadows. Nurf and Dolph seemed slightly anxious, but there were no claws of anxiety tearing at Space Kid’s heart as he sat down calmly, “Wanna tell some spooky stories?”

Silence.

A sigh. “Okay.”

* * *

The next time Neil crashed into Harrison was about an hour after they’d walk, everything sore, and irritation all over his body, especially due to the rain pounding down, and thunder continuing to scare him out of his shoes. He gritted his teeth, not aware that what had happened would lead to the worst experiences of his life.

“What the fuck is it this time, Harrison,” Neil snarled under his breath, “Is it another  _ wide  _ puddle that we have to go around this time? I don’t like getting my sock wet as much as the next guy, but I think this is really dumb.”

“Neil.”

“Fucking honestly, why did I even trust in you?!” He wanted to slam his head against a tree, kicking a stone into the bushes with a low growl. “Seriously, just go around the puddle this time! It’s not that complicated.”

_ “Neil.” _

No, Neil was on a role. “Think about it, Harrison. We’re even more lost than before, and Max is definitely not this far in because he’s not a fucking idiot! Like you. Honestly, let’s just see if we can find the way we came, he’s fucking fi-”

“NEIL!” Harrison turned around, and in a fit of anger, harshly slapped Neil against the face.

The pain ebbed away as fast as it’d come, but Neil narrowed his eyes into slits. If it had been anyone else, he would’ve cowered and run, but this was Harrison. The kid that was usually under his boot, except for specific circumstances. “Is that a ch-”

Harrison was shaking in his boots, eyes stretched wide, and he looked like he’d just vomited. Since when had his eyes been red-rimmed like that? “N-Neil…” He sounded like a broken record. “Found him.”

Neil blinked in confusion and peered behind Harrison’s shoulder, and instantly gagged. All of that previous panic reappeared. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, his muscles seized and he was speechless. He’d been rambling as Harrison tried to alert him of…  _ this. _

Because that was him. That was his fucking friend right there. Blood splattered against the trunk of a big tree, blood coated all over his tiny body, all because of the branch gouging straight through his stomach, and his leg… definitely broken. Propped up against the tree, probably in a last attempt to save himself, eyes glassy and usually brown complexion pale, sweat mingled with blood, tears and the rain matting his hair. He looked dead.

“Holy shit… Max?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat to me on my tumblr @qolden-skies


	3. Rescue Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all gone wrong now.

When Nerris awoke, she was suffocating.

Water was in her lungs, when she managed to open her eyes, the sting of the river caused her to shut them again. That little peek had been one thing and one thing only;  _ blue,  _ with the blurred watery shape of Preston in the distance. Now that she was conscious, her legs didn’t seem to work anymore, and due to the roaring of the water, she couldn’t kick upwards and take a gasping breath, which would at least save her life.

She’d come here looking for Max, but more specifically, for ice cream. Gwen had promised ice cream to the winners after he’d left… it for incentive, wasn’t it? Yeah. Now she was going to die with an aspiring actor and a feral wolf child, lost in the river, swept away by the current, just because she’d been so foolish.

Accepting her fate, she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the sense of weightlessness in the water. What did all of those people mean when saying drowning had been peaceful? Whenever she drifted out of consciousness again, her arms scraped against rocks in the bottom of the river. She had tried to grapple onto them a few times, to no avail.

A stir in the rhythm of the water cut her out of her thoughts. Managing to crack open her eyes, a shape seemed to be… quickly doggy paddling towards her. She shut them, passing it off as a hallucination, before teeth sunk into her cape, and suddenly she was being dragged up, up, up.

She reemerged at the surface, rolling into the grass - when had she been so close to her exit? - and rolled further away, onto her stomach. She then pressed her head against the ground, water surging out of her lips that she had inhaled when attempting to breathe. This continued; her vomiting up dark water as she trembled. Nerris could hear too muffled voices, and when she sat up, she put a name to them.

Nikki and Preston, both looking very soaked and very concerned, were standing above her. Nerris got off her knees and staggered onto her feet, trying to not look affected by what had just happened. “Okay. Okay. I’m fine.”

“Nerris!” Preston shrieked, “Are you alright? I- We almost drowned!”

She swallowed. “Yeah… yeah… I’m okay! Nikki saved me, right?”

Nikki, rocking on her heels with a wolfish grin, nodded happily. “I’ve swam in a river before! That was pretty fun. As long as you guys aren’t sick from that.” She furrowed her eyebrows in obvious concern. “It’s so cold, all of this rain AND now that.”

Nerris was still trembling, and she wasn’t the only one. In the bleak darkness, Preston was full-on shivering, and Nikki seemed mostly unaffected, but an occasional ripple of discomfort caused her to bounce and then stand normally again. Okay. Okay. They needed to get back to camp and dry off, because the wind was howling in her ears, and the rain was coming down hard.

“Nikki, can you lead our party?” She offered, “We need to get back to camp!”

“Lead our party?” Nikki parroted, and then her eyes widened to the size of saucers. “I can lead our party? I get to lead our party?” She blinked in confusion, which turned into the biggest grin that glowed beyond her haze.

“Yeah!” Nerris plastered on the best grin she could, adrenaline pumping as she walked forward. When she approached, Preston released a gaspy shriek and visibly leaped backwards with sudden shock.

Nikki and Nerris turned to the boy staring at Nerris like she’d just summoned Zargon. He then cried out, “Nerris, your arm!”

She hadn’t noticed beneath the adrenaline. Nerris finally let herself calm down and stared down at her arm, gasping with the same amount of surprise that Preston had. Because three long, deep cuts ran down her left arm, with smaller scrapes lined out around it. The rain was washing away the gushing blood, causing her arm to be tinted completely red. She couldn’t feel it, and that was the problem - the adrenaline coursing through her disabled it.

Nerris’ wobby smile dissipated as the ramifications of  _ literally almost drowning  _ slammed into her like a truck. With a shocked expression, she looked up at Nikki and Preston. Nikki’s expression had twisted into confusion, eyes shimmering with another emotion that could only be described as excited. At the sight of blood, Preston was visibly cringing, though he didn’t seem exactly unscathed himself. He looked like he’d rolled right out of bed, other than his wet, muddy clothing. It was surprising that he hadn’t complained about it.

“It doesn’t hurt!” Nerris chirped fakely. If only she could’ve pulled her short sleeves over her scars- maybe it’d stop the goosebumps from the rain as well, which had matted her hair against her face. “We should get going.”

Nikki looked a bit concerned now, but she quickly shrugged it off. “Maybe it’ll scar! You could get a bunch of cool scars.”

Preston was shivering now- well, more than he already had been. “You should at least stop the bleeding,” He muttered, “I don’t want to look at  _ that _ during our walk home- I mean, at camp! It’s gross.”

Nerris contemplated it for a long moment, and then she did something that would’ve been reckless in any other situation. Nikki and Preston watched as slowly, she took her cape off and tied it messily around her arm, so it wouldn’t be in sight, and it’d  _ hopefully  _ stop the bleeding. Maybe it’d suppress some of the upcoming pain, once her adrenaline from almost drowning died down.

“On our way to camp!” Nikki hopped up and down, marching excitedly in the opposite direction of the river. “On our way to camp! Follow me guys, I know the way!”

Nerris looked at the river again. It’d swelled to the point where the place she’d originally napped with Nikki and Preston was engulfed in the waters. She swallowed, her throat feeling dry despite the rain and crackle of distant thunder. She should’ve told them about the rising water. She got them hurt, and she could’ve gotten them killed.

Other than the fact that this kind of shattered her worldview, Nerris straightened her posture with an excited smile, trotting to catch up with Nikki and Preston, who were disappearing into the shadows. She was lucky they weren’t running. “Yeah! Lead the way, Nikki!”

Preston lowered his head, ripping a stick out of his usually fluffy hair. “Tch. Yeah. I hate storms.”

Nerris didn’t like storms much anymore either.

* * *

_ FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. _

He was frozen in his spot - oh my  _ God,  _ he hated how he couldn’t move. How the only thing that would occasionally escape his lips were confused noises. Harrison, who was standing frozen next to him, looked exactly the same. Both were too shocked to move, mostly with the fear they’d make a misstep, and Max would break even more. He looked so fragile now - was he even  _ alive?  _ He looked so dead- he looked like they could touch him and he’d shatter right there. Neil didn’t like it. That wasn’t him. It couldn’t be.

Max lifted his head, using the tree as his only support, blood bubbling out of his lips as he opened them to speak. He gulped, which seemed weak, blinking multiple times. His jade eyes looked gray in the darkness.

“N’il?” Max slurred, and the uttering of his name snapped him back into reality. He rushed over to his friend - the one person who he  _ cared about  _ other than Nikki in this stupid fucking camp - and frantically searched him. Harrison rushed after him, though his voice was as slurred as the thunder in the background.

“Fuck… Max, can you hear me?” He waved his hand in front of the younger boy’s face, and was met with nothing. Now that he was in Max’s proximity, he leaned against him, which was another indication that something was wrong… other than the branch gouging through his stomach and the broken leg, of course.

Max never initiated physical contact. This couldn’t be him. He’d be giving cynical quips and nudging Neil’s chest with his elbow and breaking into laughter. Despite the severity of the situation, Neil was already denying it. He didn’t want to believe it despite the fact that it was the truth. If he dwelled on it too long, Max could  _ die,  _ right here. Leaned against him.

Neil wrapped his arms around Max’s shoulders and turned around to Harrison desperately. “I don’t... Harrison, we need to…”

He couldn’t talk his way out of this one. They had to stop the bleeding, but… “We need to get the branch out.” He snapped, voice shaky with a lack of venom. Max stared blearily at them, before his head rolled against Neil’s shoulder.

“What?!” Harrison snapped, and then cupped his mouth with his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. He backed away, “No… I can’t… Neil, it’ll  _ hurt him.  _ I don’t… I don’t want to hurt him again, I…”

“I can’t do it on my own!” Neil snarled angrily, leading Max onto his knees and following so they were on the ground, where it was more comfortable for the both of them. In the rain, the grass was so wet, but he hardly even remembered that it was raining. His intent was to save his friend- or do the best he could, at least. 

He couldn’t let Max die here in his arms. “Harrison… just… fucking,  _ rip out the branch.”  _ He had a vague idea for what to do next, but he wasn’t going to like it one bit. And Harrison wouldn’t oblige if he said it now. 

“I can’t…”

“Harrison, you HAVE TO!” Neil yelled.

“Neil, please, I…”

“He’s going to die!” Neil snarled. He would’ve socked him in the face if the boy wasn’t trembling in his lap, tiny breaths labored in the cold. “I can’t let go of him now, it’ll just make it worse. Fucking do it!”

Harrison stared down at him, and then gulped, nodding with a look of determination in his eyes. He got down on his knees behind Max, and next to Neil, technically. Instinctively, Neil grabbed the back of Max’s head and pulled it forward to his chest, mostly because he had to make sure he could see and Harrison wasn’t fucking it up.

He had to admit that he cringed and closed his eyes when Max gasped out below him. Blood splattered against his cheek. He heard Harrison sob. The lack of response from Max made his gut coil with primal  _ dread. _

Harrison backed away, blood on his hands, and shit, he was  _ crying.  _ Neil was trying not to cry. He had to be strong, even if it sucked, even if the anxiety and dread and weight of the situation was dawning on him. He sucked in breath between his teeth and finally whispered the thing that he’d been dreading the most. “I have… another idea.”

Harrison looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes, quivering as his eyes flickered from Neil’s face to Max’s gaping wound that Neil promised himself not to look at. The quiet sobs and gasps from Max said enough about how bad it was. How was he even still  _ conscious _ at this point? It scared him.

“You can control fire, right?” Neil whispered, deadly quiet. How Harrison could hear him was magic in itself- but he didn’t have time to be angry about it. “I-I’ve… seen you do it… Make rings of fire. Max even said you burned down a magic camp once.”

The boy behind him didn’t seem to understand what Neil was implying. “Uh… yeah. I’m… not very good at it, though.”

“I need you to cauterize the wound. Burn it closed.”

“W-WHAT?!” Very similar response to his last request, as expected.

Neil looked at him, dead serious. “Look. Harrison… fuck, I don’t like this either, okay? I know you hate it, and I know it’s abusing your so called magical powers, but Max is going to  _ DIE.  _ Just… fucking… do it. Please.”

_ Please.  _ Did he really just say that? Embarrassing.

Harrison looked down at Max’s wound and gagged, slowly inching towards Max again. “Are… are you sure? I don’t… will it hurt him like it did before?”

“He’s hurt enough, you fucking- just do it, okay?! We can’t carry him safely until his wound is closed, and that won’t even stop the full problem! Jesus!”

Harrison closed his eyes, gagging again as he put his hands straight in front of the wound, focusing his energy or whatever-the-fuck Harrison did. Neil looked away, grip tightening on Max’s hair, trying not to look. He couldn’t see this, or he’d literally puke, and that wouldn’t help at all.

He knew it started when Max’s tiny fists curled into his shirt, and the boy cried out, shoving his face into Neil’s chest with a broken sob. That must’ve hurt so bad for him… for both of them, as much as Neil hated to think about it.  _ Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look. _

Harrison whimpered, and Max gasped weakly again, whispering something inaudible that Neil couldn’t make out. It was so slurred. But at least he reacted in the first place.

As traumatizing as it felt for him, it meant that Max wasn’t dead. Which meant he’d be okay. He had to be okay. Harrison whispered something quietly. Max’s eyes fluttered shut; Neil could feel the motion against him as the cried out once again, voice muffled in the fabric of Neil’s soaked yellow shirt. The sound rattled around in his skull.

It didn’t take long before he heard Harrison back away, shifting on the grass and supposedly stand up. “I-I’m so s-sorry… I…” He heard Harrison sob, and he opened his eyes. He looked down at Max. There was so much blood, he couldn’t tell if the wound was closed at all. It still felt like Max’s cries would be engraved in his mind, even if it was over.

Neil couldn’t tell if he was crying at this point, or if it was just the rain. Holding Max, he stood up with the boy in his arms, and he stared at Harrison with a wavering determined face. “W-We… we need to go.” It was so hard to keep his composure after that’d all happened. But he had to stay strong, because Max couldn’t even walk due to possibly having a broken leg (or at least a badly sprained leg) and Harrison was full-on crying now.

It hurt so much, and he hadn’t even been impaled with a branch. But they didn’t have much time left, and they had to  _ hurry.  _ Even if they didn’t know what the way home was, they had to make it. Because otherwise Max wouldn’t.

Max let out a broken groan, which indicated he was  _ alive.  _ Neil didn’t dare look down at him. He looked at Harrison, who was leaning against the same tree Max had used as support, furiously wiping his eyes and getting blood on his cheeks, which was washing off due to the pouring rain. It just all felt numb now. How did Max feel during all this? He didn’t want to think about how painful that was.

“W-We… we need to go,” Neil said simply, “We just… we need to get him to David and Gwen, or he’s going to fucking die. C’mon, Harrison, we don’t have time.”

“S-Sorry… sorry… sorry,” Harrison continued like a broken record.

“HARRISON!” Neil snapped, his anger peaking. “We need to fucking  _ go,  _ okay? I can only- we can… I’m going to leave you here if you don’t come  _ right now.  _ The storm’s getting worse, Jesus Christ.”

Harrison froze, looking at him in between his fingers, and he visibly gulped. A shiver ran through his spine, visibly by the way he basically jumped, and he rushed forward to Neil, and they trekked on. Because they had to. Because they didn’t have enough time, and he couldn’t… Neil couldn’t lose a friend like this. Not like this.

* * *

Gwen was preparing her supplies to go searching for the campers when Ered burst in.

All of them had been gone for  _ way  _ too long. She knew it would’ve gone south somehow, especially with someone like Max leaving like he did. Then the storm rolled in, and David had a panic attack, and they were out for way longer than they were supposed to be. There’d been a point when she was on the verge of having an anxiety attack of her own, but she had to be strong. Even if she hated it. The campers needed saving. David, between his sobs, had promised to go with her as well.

“Gwen!” Ered slammed open the doors of the counselor cabin, causing her and David to jump. Ered being frantic was unusual, and very obviously a bad sign, because her whole character was that she  _ didn’t panic.  _ But in the face of danger like this, at such a young age, it was at least acceptable.

David rubbed his eyes, trying to look as calm and worried as possible. “E-Ered! What’s going on? How are the others?”

“There- there was a mudslide,” Ered gasped out, “They’re fine, but- they’re stuck. I don’t know where the other dudes are, but they might’ve gotten washed away by all the mud like we did!”

Very out of character for her. She wasn’t panicking, but she looked damn close to doing so. David was tearing up now, which was clear on his face. It was understandable, actually- she had a reason to be fearful now, even if Ered would never admit it. Gwen gulped down her anxieties, slinging the bag around her shoulder.

“Let’s… let’s go find them… fuck, okay… we can do this, David, okay?” She hated being optimistic here, but she had to be comforting somehow. Lower lip trembling, David nodded furiously, shivering.

They instantly got to work as Ered put on one of David’s extra soft coats to warm herself up. Gwen checked her things again - a first aid kit, a flashlight, an umbrella. Everything she needed, which caused her to sigh with relief as she put on her coat. David gave her a hesitant thumbs up with another one of those scared wobbly smiles.

It must’ve hurt to be the one to suggest this all- suddenly, all of them were missing. Gwen felt angry now. She hadn’t intervened, and though it wasn’t David’s fault, she really wanted to kick his ass anyway… maybe Campbell’s ass, preferably, since he was the one who made the protocol in the first place. David had just been going along with it.

“Let’s go,” She said breathily, mostly to herself. David nodded with fake determination, stretching out his posture and puffing up his cheeks to look more adamant, even if it was obvious that he wasn’t.

Fuck, how had this gone to shit so quickly? 

Ered looked at them with a sigh of relief, pulling the hood over her head. “Okay, guys, this way,” She said, simply like it was obvious, rushing forward. David and Gwen exchanged glances before trekking after her.

And so the search began.

* * *

“Big tree! Big tree!” 

“Nikki, darling, that’s the third big tree we’ve seen- AH! EW! THERE’S BLOOD ON IT!” Preston shrieked, hopping backwards with offense. Nerris squinted next to him. In the gloom, it was definitely hard to tell, but  _ damn…  _ there was blood on it. A lot of blood on it, actually. So much that it made Nerris nervous.

“Woah!” Nikki bounced up and down, “Blood? Cool! Do you think someone died here? They could’ve been beat up by a wolf or something!”

Preston momentarily stopped shaking, “It sounds DRAMATIC, yes, but… I don’t want to get ‘beat up by a wolf.’ We should keep going!” He was shaking, and Nerris couldn’t help but agree. Nikki was sniffing around the tree, if there was anything to smell. The rain made it hard for people even with “enhanced senses” like Nikki… to like, smell anything.

Nerris sighed, a bit exhausted. The scars on her arm was starting to ache, even when her beautiful cape had been tied around it. Her arm was full on  _ throbbing,  _ and the scrapes on other parts of her all hurt individually. It was hard to pin-point what hurt the most when everything did. She’d never been so sore before.

“Do you think the others have been around here?” Nikki asked excitedly, looking around with her usual bright eyes. Nerris could compliment Nikki on  _ one thing;  _ she was always brave in the face of danger. To think a month ago she’d called Nikki a damsel in distress, when she was the only one calm. Nikki had just saved her  _ life. _

“I don’t CARE,” Preston responded, sneezing in the cold and growling a bunch of curses under his breath, “How about you climb the tree and see for YOURSELF, Nikki? I think you’re enough of a degenerate to do it.”

Nikki’s eyes brightened. “Oh! Good idea!” She got on all fours in the mud around the tree, bracing herself and wagging her butt back and forth. In a running animalistic position, she bunched up her muscles, and then bolted.

Nerris watched as Nikki flawlessly jumped from one branch to the next, to the next, all the way until she was closer and closer to the top. She was so quick about it, and she did it so well that she couldn’t help but gape. Preston even looked surprised, though his expression was constantly shifting. He seemed almost conflicted - like he didn’t want to admit on his features that he found it amazing.

When her form was just a blur in the gloomy, rainy air, she hung off the very edge, staring out into the distance. Nerris could see her narrow her eyes, gaze alert, eyes practically glowing in the darkness. It seemed so impossibly Nikki that it made  _ sense,  _ and she couldn’t help but giggle. Nikki was such a fun party member. She should’ve invited her to more games.

“You see anything, Nik?” Nerris called up. Preston jumped from where he was standing.

Nikki narrowed her eyes, jutting out her lower lip. She stood there for a long moment in the blue-gray cloud of gloom, before she physically hopped up, and flawlessly snaked down the tree, getting on all fours. “I saw them! I saw them! I saw them!”

“Who?” Preston screamed.

“Neil and Harrison! I saw them! They’re kinda close! We gotta go talk to them! C’mon! C’mon!” Nikki hopped onto her feet and bolted into the direction. “Let’s go! They’re walking really slow so we can catch up if we run!”

Nerris was aching too much to run, to be honest. “Nikki! Wait!”

Preston was calling out for as they ran as fast as they could. Nikki, unfortunately was faster. She kept running until she was out of sight. Nerris stopped in her spot, panting weakly, and Preston was next to her.

“Nikki…?” Preston called out. “Nikki?!”

Nerris felt her heart leap to her throat as she glanced around. Was she gone? Preston continued calling out at the top of his lungs, but to no avail. Nikki was still running, not looking back, and they’d lost her. Her heart began to thunder against her ribcage as she gulped, holding the aching part beneath where she’d tied her cape around it.  _ No… no! _

“We lost her…” Nerris whispered, deadly quiet.

Preston cried out, probably in anger, and then he punched the nearest tree. Then he widened his eyes, like he remembered how bad that was, and held his fist with a pissed off scowl. “We need to keep going!”

That’s a lot more determination than Nerris expected. “We don’t know which way she went!”

“I don’t know, forward!”

“That’s the way Nikki was running, right?”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

Nerris couldn’t find any energy to run. Now Nikki, their navigator and party leader, was gone, dead set on finding another group of people. Now they were split up, which meant… they could get even more lost.

Nerris hated Search and Rescue camp.


	4. Don't Blame Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerris and Preston find camp. David needs a fucking therapist. Max isn't doing much better.

“Harrison! A little faster please!”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry!”

Neil propped Max up against his hip as Harrison rushed in his direction, a lot faster on his feet now. “I don’t think we have enough time to slack off,” He muttered, looking down at the passed out boy below him, gulping.

“I know,” Harrison whispered, staring blankly at his blood-stained gloves. “I still feel… so… disgusting.”

Neil gave him a look of sympathy, which felt disgusting to do, but Harrison needed it. “Listen, Harrison, he would’ve died a lot faster if we didn’t do that.”

He picked up Max once again, holding him bridal style in torn, blood-stained rags. He couldn’t afford to look down at him, not to see that pale complexion again… it was probably going to haunt him in his dreams. Just like the fearful cries he let out when Harrison cauterize the wound. He’d never forget that.

“I know… but…” He bit his lower lip, trembling as they picked up the pace, “I never wanted to use my magic to hurt people! It was all in good fun!”

Neil flinched, stopping for a moment, before continuing like he hadn’t just done that. “I always thought you were doing it to make fun of me. To prove me wrong or whatever the fuck was going across your mind.”

“That’s not it at all!” Harrison whimpered, “You were insulting something I really liked… and… I just acted… and I hurt Max, and I never apologized and… now we’re here, and I hurt him  _ again,  _ and I just…”

Harrison sniffled, and Neil’s eyes darkened. “You were insulting something  _ I  _ really liked. I’m a man of science. It’s my passion, and magic went completely against it. I never thought I’d force you to use it…”

“I-If you’re a man of science, then I’m a man of magic!” Harrison retorted, “We shouldn’t be insulting each other for what we like, because that’s mean and people always end up getting hurt! Like Max and Nikki.”

“They got caught in the middle of it,” Neil whispered, looking down at Max, who was completely still, eyes closed and face so pale that it looked unnatural for him. “We really fucked up when that happened… didn’t we?”

Harrison blinked, like he was surprised to see Neil be so honest. “Yeah, we did… I never thought I’d actually have to work with you like this...”

“I don’t hate you right now, if that means anything,” Neil grumbled, face flushing. Damn, he actually felt  _ bad  _ about that situation with Harrison. It made him forget about Max just for a moment, and there were so many conflicted thoughts… so many emotions, all in weird shades of gray and colors he’d never thought of before.

“...Do you think we could be fr-”

“NEIL! HARRISON!”

Neil jumped so high that he almost dropped Max.

They turned. That was Nikki, racing toward them, completely alone, waving her arms rapidly back and forth with the biggest fucking smile. Harrison squeaked and then gave the best smile he could muster, waving back. Neil just stared at her, grip tightening on the boy in his arms. Nikki was close enough to see him now.

Neil could see the moment where Nikki’s heart shattered and all of that composure crumbled. She was rushing towards them, yelling happy compliments and greetings, and then her eyes rested on Max, and she faltered in her step, nearly tripping as she came to a halt. She stared at the boy half-dead in Neil’s arms, silent, for a long moment.

“N-Neil?” Nikki uttered, eyes widened to the size of saucers. She searched his expression to see how grim it was, and she teared up and attempted to wipe her face. “Preston, Nerri-” She turned around to see… nothing. She seized up even more, and then her knees buckled as she uselessly tried to wipe her tears.

“You were with Preston and Nerris?” Harrison asked softly, “Where are they?”

“I-I ran… too f-fast…” She whispered in between her sobs and sniffles, “I… I dunno where they are! I think they’re too far behind!”

“We should go back and find them,” Harrison whispers, “Are any of them injured?”

Nikki blinked away tears and hummed with thought. “Umm… Nerris has a few scratches on her arms… we got a few scrapes from the river… and, um… we’re all really wet,” She offered, “But everyone is, cause rain.”

“What matters is that we get Max back to camp,” Neil snarled, “Nikki, he got  _ impaled.  _ We had… we had to rip it out… and…” He looked at Harrison, who shook his head quietly with a gulp. “Get it closed.”

“Closed? How?”

“Long story!” Harrison countered, “Let’s go.”

“Was that what that bloody tree was?” Nikki asked as they continued walking, “I climbed it! It was super big! That’s where I saw you! Preston and Nerris were there too… Where do you guys think they are?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Neil grunted. “They’re not dead. So why does it matter?” Harrison exchanged a look with him and walked ahead of him. Nikki took this as a competition and got in front with a chuckle.

Nikki hopped up and down, though she wasn’t as cheerful as usual. “I asked them that question about you guys and they answered! You guys are no fun… but, for a good reason…” Her eyes flickered to Max, “I hope they’re okay.”

“I’m sure they are,” Harrison gave her a reassuring smile, but it was clear he was trying to be strong for her, “I’ve played with Nerris before. She knows the forest.”

“Not as good as me!” Nikki purred, “We’re going the wrong way.”

Both Harrison and Neil stopped. Neil whipped around. “What?!”

Nikki pointed in a direction that Neil hadn’t actually thought of before. “It’s that way! Downhill! Downhill always leads back to the trail! Or the town! Or camp!” She said proudly, “I thought we were looking for the others!”

“No we fucking weren’t!” Neil snarled, “Shit, Nikki, why didn’t you tell us this before?!”

She didn’t seem affected by his scolding, “Like I said, I thought you guys were looking for the others.” Harrison looked like he wanted to pass out in front of him. Neil looked down at Max and gulped.  _ Shit. Shit. Okay, I can do this. _

“Tell us next time,” Neil said shakily, wandering in said direction. Nikki looked at Harrison and shrugged, skipping after him. If it’d been a normal situation, she would’ve been giggling uncontrollably. Not with Max like this, though. 

Nikki frowned. “Okay, Neil.”

As they continued walking, it was deadly silent. Nikki would occasionally point things out, and then frown at the lack of response. She was attempting to distract herself, but Neil was exhausted from all the walking and he probably needed his inhaler. Not to mention how cold he was. He didn’t exactly expect to feel Max stir either, but things happened.

“Wh- Max?” Neil stopped in his tracks. Nikki and Harrison stopped to see what was happening. “Guys, he’s waking up.”

“Max is awake?” Nikki chirped, turning, “He’s alive?!”

“He’s not dead,” Harrison muttered, which sounded surprisingly relieved.

Max shifted in Neil’s arms, eyelids fluttering. But he didn’t open his eyes, he just muttered a pained groan. He was in need of immediate medical attention. He had maybe an hour left… maybe. That was being hopeful, at least. Neil had almost forgotten because the wound was closed… he was an idiot, wasn’t he?

“Max,” Neil looked down at him.

That’s when glassy jade eyes met his. Something about Max’s face made Neil’s heart leap up into his throat, for his whole body to freeze up. The only emotion in his the smaller boy’s eyes was raw fucking  _ desperation.  _ Maybe if he’d dug a little deeper, he would’ve noticed the acceptance, too. But they were on a rush.

“Max! Max!” Nikki repeated, basically leaping over and bumping Neil’s shoulder. “Hi, can you hear us?” Harrison stayed put and looked away, biting his lower lip, silent during their interaction, like he couldn’t bare to look at him.

Neil heard a quiet whimper as Max repositioned himself to look at Nikki. “C-C’ld,” He slurred, voice so breathy that Neil could hardly even hear him. Panic bubbled in his chest. They didn’t have time for this. When he looked at him longer, he noticed blood bubbling at his lips, and spilling out onto his chin as he gave a light cough.  _ Max was coughing up fucking blood. _

“Nikki,” Neil snapped, “We have to run.”

Nikki and Harrison snapped their heads up in unison. They’d been walking for what felt like hours, and Neil was exhausted, and so was Harrison (at least he thought so) but he couldn’t speak for Nikki. There was a possibility of jostling the wound, but at the same time… they weren’t out of the water right now.

“Yeahhhh! We get to run!” Nikki jumped up and down. “Let’s go!”

She then bolted. Neil looked at Harrison, and they reached an emotional understanding. They ran, because that adrenaline was back now, and they couldn’t be stupid in a situation like this. 

Neil didn’t look down at Max. Later, he’d think he’d only imagined the quiet groan from the boy, and the way he uttered breathily in his broken state, “...s’ okay… ‘m sorry…”

He couldn’t take this anymore.

* * *

No matter how much Gwen begged to differ, David knew this was his fault.

He’d felt that horrific twist of anxiety; maybe it’d been due to the quiet sense the storm was coming, but he’d neglected it in turn for sending them on the camp according to schedule. And he’d cried so many tears over it. In hindsight, they should’ve instantly called 911. But they’d been so caught up in everything that he hadn’t really thinking, and now Gwen had no reception and Max had his phone, so there was no chance of him checking what was happening on his end. Now they were being lead by an uncharacteristically panicking Ered, up next to the trail to find the rest of the group, and they could be in serious danger, and who was with Ered again? Panic was seizing his heart and competent thought felt dumb now. It was all just instincts that David could only describe as parental.

Oh yeah, there was also the mudslide, too. According to Ered, it was a lot bigger than it was when she’d been caught next to it... did that mean… what if they got swept away by the mud? Or went further into the woods and got mauled by a wild animal? One of them tried to climb a tree and ended up getting hurt? David’s heart couldn’t take any of those thoughts. Gwen didn’t seem to be as anxious next to him, pushing through the rain with her flashlight and umbrella out, gritting her teeth as she walked up the hill behind Ered.

“This is where we were,” Ered muttered when she stopped walking, “I was with the other guys, and…” She looked around and gaped at the muddy footprints walking into the distant wet grass. “This is uncool.”

“I’m with you there,” Gwen muttered, waving her flashlight up and down as she stepped further into the woods. “We should’ve called the police. Whatever. Fuck, should we follow their trail?”

“I don’t think we have any other choice,” David whispered shakily. Gwen nodded in solemn agreement, though just as he was, she didn’t seem very happy about it. 

Ered stared at Space Kid’s bootprints, eyes red-rimmed. For a thirteen year old, this must’ve been panic inducing. Gwen paced forward and put one hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at her with a confused expression.

“Hey, Ered, this isn’t your fault, okay?” Gwen said the smart thing in this situation, “You should’ve taken the others with you, but I understand why you didn’t. David knows these woods better than anyone, anyways. He can probably navigate it, right?”

Both of them looked at him expectedly. David had been lost in this forest before, in ways he never wanted to talk about again. But he nodded with determination, even if he was shaking. The water seemed to seep through his raincoat and into his shirt, or maybe it was just the anxious chill. Something felt wrong about this situation, like the extent of the problem reached far beyond what the three of them knew. “...Yeah.”

Ered wiped her face as soon as the tears sprung her eyes, and David tried to suppress the adrenaline that pumped in his veins. He felt a little better when the girl in front of them muttered, “Um… guys?”

“Yeah?” Gwen asked.

“Thanks.”

Gwen just smiled, which dissipated in seconds as she straightened her position, stepping forward. “If we get lost or mauled, I just want to say, I blame everyone in this stupid fucking camp, let’s go.”

David chuckled dryly as they wandered into the unknown.

* * *

“Preston, I found the lake!”

Preston turned around to see exactly what Nerris was pointing at. The lake had swelled just as much as the river had, but Preston couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the familiar water. In the distance, he could even see camp, though it was very faint… since when was the lake  _ this big?  _ He appreciated it, but he couldn’t help but think about where Nikki and the others were… it made him feel nervous. Since when did he feel nervous for those buffoons? That wasn’t like him. He had to let it go, nobody was injured except for Nerris. Everything was fine.

Speak of the devil, Nerris was staring out at the lake with a light in her eyes, a tiny smile painted on her features. This situation had really given Preston some kind of… feeling. For her, and Nikki, especially. They kind of felt like… family? Which also felt stupid, because amazing actors raising for the stars couldn’t focus on family. They had to focus on work! Besides, how was he supposed to tell Nerris that she felt like a sister he never had?

He just decided not to. Huffing, he crossed his arms, eyes occasionally turning to the girl with the scratch marks on her arms, and then walked forward. “We’re almost there, to sweet, sweet civilization!” He said dramatically.

“Closest thing to it, anyway,” Nerris replied. “I bet David’s gonna take me to the doctor though… the cuts are kinda deep.” It was true that she needed medical attention, and his unspoken-sister-eight-times-removed couldn’t die from bleeding out, or whatever. Was that how that term was used? Bleeding out? Eight times removed?

“I just want a bed again,” Preston admitted as the rain continued to pour, proving his dumb stupid point, “Let’s go, before it gets any worse than it already is,” He whispered to continue, looking around nervously. “What if we get mauled by a BEAR?”

“There are bears here?” Nerris asked under her breath.

As they began to walk, Preston nodded timidly. “Yeah! I’ve heard them in the night, and one time they stole all of Dolph’s candy that one week that he was selling them with Max. They’re abhorrently big and gross.”

“Like that Campbell guy?” Nerris offered.

“Yeah!” Preston chirped with agreement.

Nerris nodded calmly as the trekked. The camp was a lot clearer now, relief washed over him, maybe they’d be okay! Preston wanted to sleep and see all of the others again. The other people that he stupidly thought as family. Even Max, despite the fact that Max was gross and weird and he had bad breath.

He straightened himself with the most calm smile he could even hope to muster. Nerris hopped next to him. Camp was only a few steps away now, and he couldn’t see anyone there. Was everyone else missing, too? David and Gwen must’ve been in the counselor’s cabin, which made him feel a little better. He was seriously going to have a panic attack, but he couldn’t do it in front of Nerris! That’d be weird.

He heard Nerris give a sigh of relief next to him, and she broke into a sprint as she rushed past the lake and into the bushes. Getting little flashbacks to the Nikki situation, despite his exhaustion, Preston raced after her. “Nerris! Wait!”

The girl turned, feet in the bushes, Camp Campbell only a few steps away. “What’s up?” She asked, shoulders rising up and down as her breaths came out, laborious. In this cold, he could see her breath drift from her in a plume. The rain was so cold, and Jesus, Preston didn’t like that.

Preston bit back an apology, holding his knees and blinking as the adrenaline died on him. “Just… thinking about what happened the last time someone ran away without  _ asking  _ us first!” He snapped with no venom.

Nerris frowned, “Yeah, sorry, Preston. But I’m hurt!”

“You could aggravate the wound or something!” Preston stomped over to her, only making squelching sounds in the grass as he walked past. “It said in a movie that it was prone to happen. And that could make it worse.”

“I wrapped it,” She countered, walking at a bit of a slower pace. 

“I’m just concerned for you,” Preston whispered, which was barely audible, “No best friend, or as I like to think a s-... no good friend of mine should aggravate her wound like the movie said it would! I think Campbell mentioned something about it too.”

Nerris read him for a moment, and then shrugged it off. “Did you just almost call me a  _ sister?”  _ She asked, blinking in confusion, mouth wide open.

Preston froze. “Fuck.”

“Sorry,” Nerris squeaked, which must’ve been a habit she picked up from Harrison. But her curiosity seemed to have gotten the best of her, and she looked back at him instantly after averting her gaze. “But… um… did you?”

Preston shoved through the bushes next to her with an irritated huff. “Okay, maybe I  _ did.  _ Maybe I’ve been through hell with a lot of the people in this camp, and maybe I’m starting them to consider you guys as sibling figures.” Yes! Implications. Nerris would never see past that, she’d just brush it off like she always did!

Nerris jumped next to him with less energy than usual, with a sigh. “Wellll, Preston, maybe I see  _ you  _ as a brother! I’ve never had any siblings before… so, I don’t know how the brother and sister thing works… you can be annoying sometimes, but according to everyone else I knew with them, they were supposed to be!”

“Wow,” Preston commented.

“Huh?” Nerris looked at him with wide eyes.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me,” Preston muttered, “Today, anyway.” Today felt like absolute horror; what he considered  _ today  _ meant when he’d been woken up rudely from his nap due to almost drowning and onward.

“I’ve said nice stuff to you!” Nerris retorted. “Like… like…”

Preston looked at her blankly.

“Oh… sorry.” Nerris frowned, “Everyone here fights so much, I thought it’d just come with it one day, y’know? Maybe I should apologize to Harrison and his dumb face… is Harrison still out there? What if he got hurt?”

“You’re just thinking about that more now?” Preston muttered questioningly as they walked into the empty clearing, where there was no sign of  _ anyone.  _ Why did Preston feel nervous about them? Most of the campers were as feral as Nikki, they’d take their time to get out of the rain.

“He’s magic!” Nerris replied worriedly, “He’d usually be back by now, because he’s magic…” She looked at him to see Preston’s confused gaze, which he hadn’t even noticed he was wearing. Then she crossed her arms. “I meant… like,  _ actual  _ magic. I love my magic, but it’s not actual magic! I wish I could perform cool spells like him, but if I asked him I’d lose my mystery!”

_ She admires him, but secretly. Admirable, and it gives me some motivation for my plays…  _ “I won’t taddle,” He said simply, not really knowing how to reply in the situation, and then made a beeline for the counselor’s cabin.

Before Nerris could carry on the conversation, Preston slammed open the door and strutted into the counselor’s cabin. Then, he stopped and fell silent. Nerris poked her head from the doorway, squeezing and pushing him roughly to the side. Preston didn’t have the energy to be angry.

“What’s wrong?” Nerris asked, and then turned to get the sight of the cabin. Desolated. Silent. Just them, sheltered from the rain now, but… 

Gwen and David weren’t there.

They were  _ alone.  _ They’d left to look for them. Thoughts of those gashes on Nerris’ arms caused anger to flare up in his chest. He wanted to punch something, but he also wanted to run and call for help, but he also just wanted to get his unofficial sister help… maybe he just wanted to cut a bitch at the same time.

“They left,” Preston whined. “This night is going to go on foreeverrrrr.”

Nerris had a ripple of cold rush through her, by the way she abruptly shivered, and then she smiled offeringly. “Well… do you know where the first aid kit is?”

“You’re lucky I do.”

* * *

Yelling. So much yelling. Cloth in between his fingers. Blurry images, so many colors tinted in  _ blue.  _ The more he blinked, the redder it became. Brown, beige, yellow, pale blood. Rain against his face. Ringing in his ears. Nikki, Neil, and Harrison’s voices, distant and quiet. He wanted to say sorry. He felt blood choke him and he coughed wetly into the shirt of the person carrying him. He couldn’t even spit out an apology. He was that pathetic.

Max drifted against Neil’s chest, clawing his way into the land of the living. White hot pain crawled up his abdomen. Every memory was hazy, his thoughts moving in slow motion. Yelling. Yelling. More yelling. Nothing was excited or kind about it. Voices edged with fear. Everything was a blur. The smell of blood.

He was going to die here.

_ Fuck… _

_ Is… this… it? _

Every breath was labored. He tasted blood between his teeth and his eyes fluttered shut. The black was so much more comforting, though he wouldn’t have said that a few hours ago. He liked this darkness. Maybe he’d let himself drift into it, just so he could stop that pain, stop hearing that shrill yelling, stop hearing everything.

Was this what death was like? Would he be able accept that?  _ N...Ne...Neil?  _ Was that him holding him? He would’ve been embarrassed, in any other situation. But all he felt was nothing. No gratitude, no anger, no fear, just… blank. He couldn’t… he couldn’t just… he had to say sorry… was everyone going to blame themselves for it?

There was an emotion he was incapable to express. He began to drift, releasing the occasional almost instinctive groan.  _ Wait, I’m not… I’m not ready to sleep again, I need to- I need to say sorry, please. Please. Please! _

He only tasted more and more blood. Everything was so bloody… everything was so dark… he couldn’t even crack open his eyes. His limbs were heavy, like he was dragging them through molasses. Opening his mouth to gulp in quiet breaths was even harder. He was bleeding out in the arms of a friend he cared about more than anything, and he couldn’t even say sorry.

_ Please. _

Max blacked out.

* * *

Gwen had never had such a stroke of luck like this before.

Most stories of hikers getting lost were all the same. Only a few steps away from the trail, and they were lost. It happened in the forest, being lead to their demise… so many people got lost just because they were curious about the woods. But when they found Nurf, Dolph and Space Kid a bit deeper in the forest, and heard David’s quiet sobs of relief, Gwen had never ever felt so overjoyed in her life. That sense of euphoria was so rare, and everything else; all of that pent up anxiety shifted into relief. She momentarily forgot the fact that everyone else was missing, trying to push back the instinct to give Space Kid (specifically) a hug.

“Holy fuck,” She breathed, physically leaning against a tree. She had never been so relieved. “Holy fucking shit, we  _ found them.”  _ Every relieved swear that left her lips was all on instinct. Out of all of the time in camp, she’d never felt so happy.

Nurf was stabbing a tree, and turned to her blankly. It must’ve been to distract himself while he waited patiently. Dolph waved from where he was drawing in the mud, and Space Kid seemed to have been zoning off before he noticed they were there, and then his eyes lit up with happiness.

David was crying happy tears next to them. Ered leaned against a tree and smiled, which was a lot happier than Gwen was used to her looking. Gwen stomped forward. “Okay, okay. Are any of you little shits injured? Space Kid, did Nurf stab you? Answer honestly.”

Nurf raised his hands in mock offense as Space Kid contemplated the question. He looked genuinely confused, like it was a question from a math test. Then he shook his head, voice still muffled behind his helmet. “Uhh… Nope! No stab wounds here! Dolph is good too, I think.”

Gwen smiled wearily and patted Space Kid’s head- more like patting his helmet, but her expression hardened and her muscled seized as she remembered the fact that they didn’t know where the others were. She turned to Ered, who looked alarmed to see that more was expected from her. “Hey, Ered, do you know where the others are?”

“The others?” Space Kid parroted before Ered could respond. “They went on a different trail, remember?”

“Oh,” David replied softly.

“I remember what trail it was!” Dolph piped up, happy to have his input, “Jah! Neil and Harrison went on the cool mountain one! Right?” He looked at Space Kid with big, excited eyes, to see Space Kid nod vigorously. “And Nikki, Nerris, and Preston went on ze… um… ze river one!”

“They would’ve came back if the storm had started up,” David whispered, “Oh no, what if they’re hurt?! What if they wandered off and got lost?! We should call the police, but there’s no reception and Max has my phone-”

“David,” Gwen snapped, “Let’s just… look for them one at a time. We should bring these guys back to camp and go and find the others.”

David visibly swallowed down his anxieties and nodded determinedly. “Y-Yeah! Sorry. Do you want me to stay back with them? Cause you’re a lot more responsible with this stuff and just in case you get lost it’d be good to have backup…”

Gwen frowned, but David had a point. She looked back at Ered for no reason in particular, and then nodded. “Uh, I- Yeah. Actually, that sounds like a good idea. We should get going though, before this gets any worse.”

“Okay,” Nurf muttered. Damn, he’d been really quiet. Gwen had almost forgotten he was there. “I’m going to sleep though. As soon as we get back.”

“Better than nothing, buddy,” David replied, “I-It’ll be less work… I guess… Are any of you scraped or bruised?”

They began their walk down the path as David assessed any smaller scrapes with bandaids, saying that he’d get back to them when he had the proper medical kit. Though his smile was very wobbly, and he looked so nervous that Gwen felt bad for him. He must’ve blamed himself since he’d suggested it. But she couldn’t blame him at all, she didn’t know his history with the procedure.

Ered rushed up to her side as they walked back down the trail, staring at the mudslide. Hopefully it didn’t make its way to Camp Campbell… then they’d have  _ another problem  _ to deal with. And Gwen’s head ache was big enough.

“Just so you know,” Ered muttered, causing Gwen to look at her. She still seemed a bit nervous. “I went alone because I didn’t want Space Kid or Dolph to get hurt… with the mudslide and all of that uncool stuff like that… they could’ve, like, got swept up or something like that.”

“It’s not your fault,” Gwen reassured, trying not to be hard on her. “Seriously, don’t blame yourself. I have enough of that with David,” She pointed behind her shoulder, where David was chattering with Space Kid, “I think he’ll seriously need therapy after this. He’s been really stressed.”

“Yeah…” Ered’s frown only seemed more prominent.

Gwen sighed. “Sorry if I’m not good at being very reassuring, but none of this is anybody’s fault, except for maybe Max’s. I’m probably going to regret saying that, but, I’m serious. We had a bad idea for search and rescue camp, and everything just… got really bad. But I’m sure it’ll be fine. We’ll find the others, and everything’s going to be okay.”

If David wasn’t going to be the optimist, Gwen had to.

Ered, in the pouring rain, couldn’t help but smile.


	5. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David comes back to an injured camper. Gwen makes a discovery.

“Do you think I need stitches?”

“Stitches?!” Preston squeaked, hesitantly unraveling Nerris’ cape to stare at the scars. The blood had stopped, but they seemed so much deeper now that he got a better look at them. In some places they looked almost yellow.

Gulping down his anxiety, he looked Nerris in the eyes. “I… don’t know how to do stitches!”

“We can wrap it!” Nerris concluded almost instantly. Upon further inspection, she seemed to be wincing, trembling and biting her lower lip, yet putting on a brave face. “I’ve gotten cut during my magical missions before, and Gwen showed me how to put these big bandages over it. It’ll be nice for… uh, making sure it doesn’t get worse, or something.”

She dug through the kit, wincing whenever she moved her arm, and Preston stared at her in shock. She looked surprisingly intense despite the situation, throwing things carelessly behind her. Then she blinked and a smile grew on her features, taking out a roll of gauze bandages. She then unraveled it, silently, without even looking at it. Preston watched her wrap it to the best of her ability and then turn back to him. Preston frowned.

“Ta-da!” She chirped. “I’m better!”

“Are you still hurt?” Preston muttered, his facade basically gone by now. It was replaced with pure concern.

“Yeah,” Nerris mumbled, a lot quieter. “But it’s okay! I’m sure everything’s fi-”

“Nerris? Preston?”

The two turned around in shock to see David standing in the doorway, holding an umbrella. At his sides were Space Kid, Dolph, Ered, and Nurf. Why were they here? Where were the others? Where was  _ Gwen? _

“David!” Nerris gave out varying noises of relief, leaping to her feet. “Where were ya? I missed you! Were you looking for us?” 

“Where are the others?” David asked nervously, as the others flooded into the room around him. Space Kid and Dolph went to converse with Nerris as they chattered quietly under their breaths, asking about Nerris’ wound, especially. Ered went and leaned against the wall in the corner of the room, not uttering a wound. She looked upset.

“The others!” Preston piped up, letting Nerris chat with Space Kid and Dolph, “We didn’t see them on our valiant mission back. Nikki ran off on our way back, so we don’t know where she is!” He paused for a moment, “She said she’d found Neil and Harrison.”

“No sign of Max?” David replied, voice sounding fragile.

Preston shook it off. “No, I’m not sure where he is. We didn’t have any sign of him. Oh yeah, and Nerris is injured.”

“What?!” David squeaked, on the verge of tears, then repeated it a lot quieter when Preston flinched, “W-What? I… I should’ve brought Gwen back, but she’s out making sure Max and the others are okay… oh no… how bad is it? Do you need me to call 911?” He fumbled for his pockets and panic fell on his features. “I left my phone with Max, uh, Nerris, are you okay?! Do you need anything… medical attention?”

Nerris lifted her bandaged arm with a tiny smile. “Still hurts, but it’s nothing I, Nerris the cute, couldn’t fix! Ta-da! Just a few scratches when we almost drowned in the river! I scraped it against the floor of the river.”

“Almost… drowned…” David repeated. “Ah…” He looked on the verge of having a panic attack. Preston wished he could’ve related.

“I’m okay, though!” Nerris reassured the counselor, “I’m sure the others are cool too! I bet Gwen will be back any second!”

David, without a word, sat down on his bed and hugged his knees, voice broken. “I-Is anyone else injured? Anyone need immediate medical attention?” He called out as Space Kid grabbed the first aid kit that Preston and Nerris had been using, skipping over and unknowingly spilling out all the contents as Dolph silently picked them up behind him.

Everyone signaled that they were fine, and David gave a guttural noise of relief, digging his face into his knees, mumbling about how much he messed up. Preston felt a tug of sympathy in his chest, which felt unusual. 

Preston wiped some blood off his sleeve, a smile on his features. He was shivering, even if he was out of the rain… when had the counselor’s cabin gotten so annoyingly cold? Usually it wasn’t like this.

He ultimately wondered if something was wrong.

* * *

_ “Gwen, are you sure? You wouldn’t have any reception!” _

_ “Oh, please,” Gwen waved her hand up and down dismissively. “David, you’ve crammed so much forest shit into my head that it could be pitch black and I’d still know this place. If Max is still out there, I’m sure the little shit’s fine. He’s just hiding because he thinks it’s funny. Take the campers back and do a roll call.” _

_ David’s lower lip trembled and he looked Gwen over, noticing her fake confidence. He gave a shaky smile and nodded weakly, even if both of them were clearly ingenuine. He wasn’t sure that everything was okay- there was this uncomfortable twist in his gut that told him something was definitely wrong. But he couldn’t tell if it was associated with Gwen or not, and it scared him. _

_ “Good luck,” He whispered. _

_ Gwen flashed her flashlight and gave them a bored wave, instantly stalking off and leaving David and the confused, chattering mess of children to look at him. He turned, putting his hands on his hips, faking a proud grin. _

_ “Alrighty, campers! Let’s get back to camp and make sure nobody’s hurt!” _

_ He heard genuine enthusiasm in some of them, beyond the sarcastic moans or angry remarks. Maybe it’d be okay. _

_ He headed back down the trail again, looking back for only a moment before putting his trust in Gwen and leaving, heading back to camp, unknowing that this was truly the calm before the real storm. _

Trusting David with the kids and heading off alone had been Gwen’s first mistake, in short.

Now she’d really fucked herself over. Out in the pouring rain, hood over her head, clutching her umbrella in one hand and a flashlight in the other. She’d never been a fan of thunderstorms, especially if they caused mudslides and… things like this. The weather only seemed to be getting worse, not to mention that she had no idea where the fuck Max and the others could be. She had already checked the trail that Dolph and Space Kid had mentioned (those two remembered despite the panic, which caused Gwen to really think over her original prediction for their intelligence and memories), not to mention  _ multiple  _ times, calling out at the top of her lungs, to no avail. Now she was in the middle of the fucking woods. Ten times worse, and going into search and rescue camp, not exactly what she’d expected.

_ To be honest, I probably should’ve made David do this.  _ Her conscious slapped her in the face, just like that, and she bit back an exasperated huff as the wind once again pulled her hood down and kept attempting to push her in the wrong direction. Her coat was completely soaked and battered by rain, the wind howling in her ears, almost drowning out any string of coherent thoughts. It felt like symbolism for her own failure.

_ Though, to be honest, I think David’s had enough of the woods after this.  _ That was an even weirder thought that appeared in her head. David? Done with the  _ woods?  _ A month ago, Gwen wouldn’t have cared, but honestly that just felt like a punch in the gut.

This had been her worst experience so far… well, the ones she’d been involved in personally, anyway. She never really heard the extent of the events that happened with the creepy counselor guy the first time. Gwen sighed, eyelids fluttering as she once again pulled over her hood to stop from the rain soaking her hair. Any more than it already had, anyway.

“Fuck. Okay. MAAAX! KIDS!” Her voice was a lot more hoarse now as she attempted again. She could hardly hear herself at this point, the wind was just  _ that strong  _ and frankly, it somehow made her even more nervous.

She pushed her way through the bushes, yelping as a branch whipped her in the back, dodging around wildlife that would sting or prick her. This place wasn’t familiar;  _ to think she’d fed David false lies, too.  _ She cried out hoarsely for them, tone borderline gravelly as she tried to keep herself loud. Honestly, she hoped they could’ve heard her at this point. 

“ARE ANY OF YOU OUT THERE?!”

So maybe this wasn’t the best method, but there wasn’t anything else she could’ve done. Her flashlight was beginning to flicker; and honestly, if she lost power, that meant she’d have to resort to using her phone. Which meant if she lost power in that, she couldn’t call the police if anyone was injured when she got close enough for reception. Which meant they’d personally have to drive them and risk things getting even worse. Tears budded in the corners of her eyes. She gulped down a sob and tried to keep her head high.

_ To think I was supposed to be the optimist here. I’m so stupid. This is all wrong. _

“MAX? NEIL? HARRISON?” 

In the roaring wind, Gwen heard a voice in the distance and stopped in her tracks. Hope swelled and for a moment, she was pulled into fucking  _ euphoria.  _ They’d been out here, and she hadn’t gotten aimlessly lost in the woods. She’d done something right, and David was going to be happy, and she’d find the way back, and-

Out of the bushes crashed three…  _ four  _ campers.

At the sight of Neil, Harrison and Nikki, Gwen only felt relief. Pride welled and she gave a soft smile. Then her eyes drifted down.

Her heart stopped.

“GWEN!” Nikki tearfully shrieked, lunging forwards with puffy eyes and tackling Gwen in the knees. The little girl wrapped her whole body around Gwen’s legs like a koala, holding onto her and somehow managing to stifle her sobs.

Gwen didn’t even look down. Not in that momentary shock as her whole world came crashing around her.  _ I blamed Max for this. I blamed Max for this. Holy fuck, I’m so goddamn horrible.  _ She’d never seen Neil and Harrison look so tired and disheveled. The most surprising thing is that they weren’t going at each other’s throats. The situation must’ve forced them to connect and… no, she couldn’t deny this situation by psychoanalyzing this.

Because that was Max there. That was  _ her fucking kid,  _ half dead in Neil’s arms, eyes half-closed and not even acknowledging of her, ripped up hoodie splattered with scarlet blood. He didn’t even seem to notice the light on him. He didn’t even move his head to look at her. He looked…

Dead.

“Oh my God,” Gwen mustered. It was the only thing that she could manage to say beneath all of the shock. Her heart was pounding. Protectiveness surged over her. In any normal situation, she would’ve broken down crying  _ right there.  _ But this didn’t feel normal. This wasn’t normal.

She was too afraid to cry. At this point, she would have welcomed the tears. But as soon as she met Neil’s eyes, she truly understood that she just  _ couldn’t.  _ Beneath all of the static, she didn’t notice Nikki pry herself off her, or poke her worriedly.

“We need to go,” Neil said, voice stronger than hers, and Gwen really wondered how the fuck an eleven year old was being more calm than her. Her expression wasn’t wavering; it was unbridled shock and pain and so many emotions were shoving their way and squeezing her heart at once and she didn’t know what to do and holy shit was she going to have a panic attack-

“Gwen,” Neil repeated, voice a lot shakier. “C-Carry Max.”

Like a robot, Gwen obliged and moved forward, kneeling so she could carefully take the boy, working her hardest not to jostle him. She didn’t look down at his injury either, she didn’t want to know the extent of it, and she didn’t know fucking first aid. But she was under the impression that his leg was broken.

“I know the way, guys,” Nikki snapped her out of it quickly, and Gwen felt so fucking relieved now, but she couldn’t speak. Her words were lodged in her throat, and forcing them out would cause her to break down and sob. Which wouldn’t help the situation all that much.

Harrison looked at Nikki with hope, and he was the only one other than Nikki herself. “Yay, Nik... Which way is it?”

Gwen didn’t register Neil glare at Harrison as Nikki pointed in the direction, and Gwen, very carefully, didn’t bolt. It’d be worse to lose the kids, even in her own panic. She walked at a steady pace, which apparently was as fast as running for all of the campers, because they were basically running to keep up with her.

Holy fuck, she’d never felt this scared before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit m'man, sorry for a shorter chapter!!! i would've made it longer, but it would've cluttered stuff up and chapter six-seven are the BIG ones, so think of this as like... the info dump before the important stuff, i guess.
> 
> i can't write gwen wHOOPS ANYWAY


	6. Siren.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey ends.

The storm was raging onward, and for once, Gwen could finally  _ speak. _

When she finally could speak, she exploded. Asking so many questions that Neil and Harrison couldn’t answer. It’d probably frightened the boys further… actually, Harrison, at least. Neil seemed resistant to her frantic speaking, like he was used to it. She couldn’t pull any details out of them, which just made her anxiety brew. With the shame, too. Holy shit, she’d  _ blamed the half-dead kid in her arms.  _ So maybe she regretted it, just a little bit.

She really wanted to apologize.

Speaking of the kid, Gwen wasn’t able to muster up the courage to even look at him. Max was mostly silent, probably unconscious (pain was tiring, she understood), though he’d occasionally gasp whenever he was jostled too much. Every time he stirred or moved, she felt a wave of relief… but also fear. He was in serious pain (how had he not died?) but at least he was responsive… how much blood had he lost? Fuck. She couldn’t think about this.

Wiping her tears against her shoulders, she picked up the pace. Nikki was holding her open hand, pointing in a random direction occasionally, but she’d gone completely silent now. They didn’t want to say anything- was there really anything to say, anymore? Gwen had asked questions until her throat had gone raw and she’d cried right there on the spot. None of the kids had even reacted. Maybe they were just used to it by now.

Gwen had completely ditched everything by now. Her flashlight was back where she’d dropped it to help Max up, she didn’t even remember if she had an umbrella… what had she brought? Her mind was completely blurred and she was too busy dwelling on their current situation to focus on the events that had led them there.

_ Okay. Get back to the counselor’s cabin, tell David, call the police. Wait, fuck, what if we’re going the wrong way? Nikki, does she really know… wait, of course she does. She’s Nikki. What am I thinking? _

_ David… oh fuck. _

_ How is he going to react to… this? _

Max’s disheveled form twitched in her arms. Gwen came to a halt, just for a quick second, until he stilled again, breathing ragged and erratic, and then broke into a light run, dragging Nikki behind her, as she rushed to catch up to Neil and Harrison, who seemed to be guiding them at this point.

“The lake!” Nikki’s excited chirp caused her to jump back. She rushed past her, so quick and happy, that the wind blew Gwen’s hair forward, causing her to reposition herself so she wouldn’t fall forward. For some reason, she felt a strong sense of… deja vu. She kind of almost wondered where that came from.

“Finally!” Neil yelled, kicking a pebble and walking after Nikki. Only now that they were out of the woods, and everything was easier to see, Gwen only realized how fucking  _ tired  _ that Neil looked.

His curly brown hair looked flattened, some of it even stained with blood. His clothing looked ripped and broken from crashing through the bushes, twigs sticking out of his hair and lodged in the holes of his shirt and pants. His eyes, however, were dark and determined, which was odd on him. Out of this whole situation, Gwen had never expected  _ Neil  _ to take charge. Usually she or Max had taken the role, or even Ered. Maybe the kid was a lot more mature than she thought he was.

Harrison just whimpered quietly and shuffled in his spot. Gwen didn’t have the courage to look at him, too busy soaking in the relief of being able to spot camp from where she stood.

Only then, with the relief fresh in her mind, did she realize that the storm was finally beginning to clear… slowly. The rain had slowed, and when she looked up, the clouds had cleared quite a lot, in comparison to the showering that had occurred before. The Earth had given a big  _ fuck you,  _ and was now finally deciding to give her fake relief before the next wave of panic hit her, wasn’t it? What was the next thing that was going to wreck her like this had? Was David going to die from a heart attack when he saw Max? Honestly, Gwen actually expected it at this point. It made the most sense. Oddly enough.

“Okay,” Neil mumbled, walking forward, voice grating and hoarse, “I can see camp from here. Nik, how long is the walk going to take?”

Nikki bounced forward and hummed thoughtfully. “Umm… maybe like… ten minutes? We’ll be there in a jiffy!” She bounced up and down, shooting a glance towards Gwen, and her energy basically died there on the spot. Gwen could see the point where she’d realized that she was being too enthusiastic. It almost kind of hurt. Sometimes Nikki  _ really  _ reminded her of David.

In this situation, she couldn’t pinpoint if that was a good thing or not.

“Ten minutes?!” Neil remarked, and groaned. “Harrison, dude, can you do any magic stuff? I don’t know how long Max has! He could die right here and we wouldn’t even know!” He glanced back at Gwen and instantly looked back to Harrison, who shrunk backwards with another quiet whimper.

Harrison blinked, and then looked around, then pointed at himself awkwardly. “N-No, I… I can’t… I… not again, please-” He shut his eyes with a sob, wiping uselessly at his eyes. Gwen only looked away awkwardly, not sure on what to do.

Nikki tackled Harrison from behind and wrapped her arms around his chest, with a determined huff. “We cry later, Harrison! Don’t worry, I’ll cry with you in like an hour!” She said with a smile, kind of whiny and babyish, to prove her point. She didn’t sound as happy as usual, but at least she was being optimistic.

Neil exhaled out of his nose and mumbled something inaudible under his breath, voice ending in a growl. “Fine, fucking- whatever. Let’s just keep going before Max fucking dies. Let’s go.” He turned and stomped towards camp.

“Don’t remind me…” Gwen muttered, following.

* * *

“Um… got any fours?”

Preston gasped dramatically. “I DO have a four!” He slapped the card down. Space Kid’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm at his win and he snatched the card away, putting his match down and practically glowing with pride.

“I did it! I won!” Space Kid hollered.

Nerris frowned. “Nope. We haven’t gone through the deck yet.” She grinned smugly and went through her deck, trying not to focus on the gnawing boredom which ate away at her consciousness. Her wounds were still  _ throbbing  _ with white-hot pain, and she was putting on her best smile despite trembling. She’d basically had to yell at David to stop getting him to freak out over her; they’d probably go the hospital when Gwen got back because she was smart… right? “Um… Space Kid, got any twos?”

“Nope!” He said enthusiastically. “Go Fish! I only have eights.”

Preston snorted at his dumb merriment as Nerris took two cards, placing them into her deck. She grinned at all of the convenience; it matched perfectly with what Preston had asked her  _ last  _ time. Which meant that it was perfect.

Nerris expected Preston to continue, but instead, he leaned backwards with a bored sigh, the sudden movement rattling his chest. He closed his eyes, leaning against Gwen’s bed frame, shuffling uncomfortably against the wooden floor. 

“When are they going to get BACK?” Preston was shivering as he said it, “Gwen needs to call the POLICE already, because you’re so hurt and the others might be worse! Maybe. What do you think?” He leaned up to look at her and Space Kid.

Nerris smiled hesitantly. Space Kid raised his hand, voice muffled by his helmet still. “I think they’re okay! Max, Nikki and Neil are smart, and um… oh! Harrison’s magic! He’s probably guiding them out!”

“I’m magic too!” Nerris retorted.

“She’s magic too,” Preston parroted, “At least compliment my unofficial sister on her bravery and prowess in the face of danger, in the dangerous storm! Fighting against the waters and finding her way to the top, to help save my life!”

Nerris rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t know about  _ that,”  _ In any other situation, she would’ve absorbed the compliment and fed the flames. But these weren’t normal circumstances. “Nikki saved us, remember?”

“Don’t tell Space Kid  _ that,”  _ Preston said, well-articulated and boastful, as loud as usual. “You deserve credit too! If Nikki gets all the credit, you won’t be known for toughing through a horrific injury, and-”

Nerris slapped her hand over Preston’s mouth, who yelped and shoved it away, squeaking. “UGH! Germs!”

“Don’t call it a horrific injury,” Nerris pleaded, “I don’t want David to get even more worried. He’s been through a lot…” She glanced towards the adult in question, who was talking to Ered in a hushed tone, and Nerris couldn’t hope to comprehend what they were discussing. To be honest, she didn’t really even want to  _ know.  _

Nurf had left to go back to his tent at this point, probably not interested in connecting with anyone. Dolph was standing on a chair, watching out the window at the storm, bouncing up and down as he watched with great attention. He was the closest thing they had to a lookout. Meanwhile, David was sitting on his bed, hugging his knees and staring out into the distance, speaking with Ered in the corner of the room. From what she could see, Ered was sitting on the floor next to his bed. Probably consoling him.

Preston and Space Kid had gotten into a mini-squabble, bantering about who-knows-what. Nerris and the game of Go Fish had basically been abandoned at that point. Without the distraction, her arm was still flaring with pain, and she bit her lower lip in hopes to brush it off. She couldn’t show everyone she was hurt- she didn’t want to worry them, and they seemed too busy doing their own thing. Her head was reeling and she was still soaked- she felt like vomiting…

“Gwen’s back! Oh! Nikki und Neil und Harrison are there too!”

Dolph voice caused her to jump. The whole room seemed to stir at that announcement. David rolled out of bed and jumped to his feet, being careful not to step on Ered, who was instantly standing up, eyes glittering with relief. Preston stopped talking to Space Kid and whirled around, gaping. Space Kid didn’t even notice, just shrugged his shoulders and started playing with his cards (admiring them, most likely), grinning profusely despite everyone waiting with bated breaths.

He was staring out at the window, eyes wide and enthusiastic. For a moment, Nerris was relieved at his reaction. That meant that everything was okay, and she was the only one injured, and she didn’t have to worry!

Then Dolph  _ crumbled.  _ Shock spread across his face. He flinched, frozen for a few seconds. He hopped off the chair, sitting down and staring at the ground. “Max is there…” He mumbled, and Nerris felt herself choke up. Space Kid rushed over to Dolph and began to talk to him, now that he had the chance. The whole room was silent.

“Max?!” David yelped. “Is… is he okay? Is he hurt? What’s going on? What happened? Do we need to call the police? Oh my God… oh no... ” He was close to panicking. Ered reached up and put a comforting hand on his back, and he flinched instead and then flashed her an offering, apologetic smile before turning back to the door.

There was movement outside of the door. Everyone fell silent as whoever was moving jiggled and fumbled with the slippery doorknob for a moment, before slowly, the door opened, and Nerris couldn’t help but flinch.

“...Everyone’s here?”

She looked back at Nikki’s voice. The girl was soaked, eyes wide, still visibly scratched from the river experienced. She didn’t look enthusiastic anymore. Her green hair had actually fallen out of her pigtails and instead was down around her shoulders now- which looked  _ very  _ weird on her. Her pupils had dilated and tears were welling in the corners of her eyes. Her hair seemed to be sticking up, more messy and dirty than usual- covered in mud, twigs sticking out of it. There was a long cut down her arm, not as deep as Nerris’, but still very noticeable and probably infected.

“Nikki,” Preston spoke first, breathy and confused and  _ scared.  _ Mostly for what was to come… why was Dolph so terrified?

Nikki limped in, eyes half-closed with exhaustion. Her breath slowed and she smiled tiredly, flopping over onto the wood floor and shaking herself like a dog. “We can finally call the police,” She mumbled, obviously fatigued. “Gwen? You there! C’mon! They’re all here!”

Harrison finally peered around the doorway and grinned in relief, rushing in. He didn’t look as bad as Nikki, or injured other than a few cuts and forming bruises, but… oh  _ Corellon.  _ His gloves were stained with blood. He looked so tired and terrified that Nerris wanted to hug him and ask what was going on- that was her  _ brother figure! _

Neil slipped in with Gwen trailing him. The woman looked shocked and her mouth was shut. Nerris looked over her, not bothering to look at Neil, too focused on the bloody bundle in Gwen’s arms… oh… oh FUCK.

That was Max.

Everyone’s eyes turned to David, who stood there, taking a long time to process the fact that Max was half-dead, stained with blood, with an obvious broken leg… there was a wound that seemed to have been… she couldn’t pinpoint it, but possible burned shut? She could smell burning flesh at least, though not strong due to all of the watery, rivery smells. 

David’s eyes widened. His stomach dropped. The world seemed to fade around him as his focus was completely on the young boy, his favorite camper, his  _ child,  _ most likely… was he dead? FUCK, was he  _ dead? _

He couldn’t stop it. He acted and moved without thought. Nerris watched him closely and with concern. Everyone was staring at himself. He could hardly keep himself together. Wrapping his arms around himself, he leaned down, closing his eyes, and then finally, he spoke; choked out, the first thing that he could muster.

_ “F-Fuck.” _

Everyone gasped with surprise. Gwen cursed under her breath and used her open arm to dig for her phone in her pocket. David was muttering now- rapidly, without competent thought, seconds away from completely losing his shit.

“...fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-”

Everyone’s eyes were on him (except for Gwen) as he moved, his legs taking him to the door as he walked straight out into the pouring rain, quietly shutting the door behind him. There was just silence behind him, nobody was sure of what to say in such an intense situation. Preston had started crying. Everyone was tense. Nerris was tearing up. Space Kid even had this solemn look on his face as Gwen began to converse with the police, sounding panicked, Max in one arm.

To everyone’s surprise, Harrison stood up from where he’d collapsed and followed in David’s footsteps, quietly opening the door, and without another word, shutting it behind him. Nobody questioned it. Nobody said a thing.

* * *

David felt pathetic.

He’d just seen someone he’d cherished so much half-dead in front of him, stained with blood, and he couldn’t even bare to make that image appear in his mind. Now, while Gwen did the mature, adult things, he was out here, pathetically crying in the rain. The salty water mingled with his tears, and he couldn’t differentiate which was which anymore. The storm had died down, but it was still going strong.

The only sound other than the rain pattering against the roof and grass was his stifled, quiet sobs. His hands were over his mouth. In an attempt to stop his crying, he’d closed his eyes, which only made it worse. Breathing was so hard; his chest was knotted and his throat red-hot. He was so pathetic- he couldn’t even act like a fucking  _ adult,  _ and he’d broken out into a string of terrified curses in front of a bunch of scared ten year olds. The least adult thing he’d done in his four years of being a camp counselor.

The door clicked beside him. He jumped.

He didn’t even look as Harrison quietly approached him, sitting down, not even bothering to initiate a conversation. There was a moment of silence, and then Harrison leaned against the wall of the cabin, right next to him, and then put one hand on David’s shoulder. The adult only flinched, but continued crying, disregarding him.

Yet, somehow, the company felt… nice.

They continued like that in silence, until the sirens blared in the distance, and until red and blue flashed against the walls and woke them out of their trance.

Harrison leaned a bit closer to him, and mumbled under his breath;

_ “I-It’s not your fault.” _

It was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me on my tumblr; @qolden-skies


	7. INTERMISSION

Nerris awoke in the hospital.

Everything around her was white. There was nobody in her room- she could determine that she was  _ alone.  _ Her hair was ruffled, and her wound had noticeably been patched and bandaged. She sat up, silently, in melancholy, trying to recount her thoughts and figure out what had happened. Everything was blurry and distant; why was she here? What had happened? It was difficult to recount.

Then it slammed into her.

Max had almost  _ died.  _ She also had a huge cut… apparently it was worse than she remembered, because she was in a hospital bed, coated by blankets. Everything was too dark and gray. She didn’t like it, especially since the hospital robe-dress thing felt a bit excessive. She fumbled with her blankets absentmindedly.

Where were the others? Her mind instantly snapped to that. Her first instinct was to throw the blankets off and rush to find them, despite the annoying IV, but she managed to stay put, squirming uncomfortably. She didn’t like it… gosh, she felt so  _ alone _ . As well as surprisingly relaxed- maybe she was on painkillers. She wasn’t exactly panicked, just confused.

The door clicked open. Had it been closed?

Nerris tensed as a familiar face entered, half-lidding the door behind her as she sat comfortably down next to her.  _ Gwen.  _ She’d never felt so relieved to see Gwen; she’d always got along with her more than David. Not to mention that she wouldn’t have been able to bare dealing with being alone for more than a few minutes. It went against her extroverted nature.

“Hey,” Nerris started weakly, voice in a rasp. Gwen’s light smile dropped.

“It’s good to see you awake,” Gwen responded.

“How long was I sleeping?” Nerris asked.

“Only for the rest of the night. It’s only around ten in the morning. What do you remember?” Gwen asked softly, crossing her legs and leaning against the chair. Upon further inspection, she was biting her lip nervously. Her hair was ruffled and she looked disheveled. The experience had been nerve-wracking for her.

Nerris clenched her fists. “...Everything.”

“Even with Max and…”

“How is he?”

Gwen flinched. Her breath hitched. Nerris’ grip tightened around the sheets as the adult’s face paled. They were both silent for a long moment, both unsure of what to say, like the subject was… especially touchy. Nerris was usually optimistic in a situation like this, but this felt completely different, in a way.

“...Not… not good,” Gwen replied, “David’s been by his side ever since we got here. Max has hardly even stirred. He… had some… surgery, as well. Even then, we’re not sure if he’s going to live through it.”

A ball of ice dropped into Nerris’ chest. Her throat completely closed up. Gwen visibly crumpled, anxiously tapping her fingers against the chair. Another moment of uncomfortable silence. Gwen broke it in order to continue.

“As for you,” She muttered, “Just as Nikki and Preston, you were extremely hypothermic. You passed out as soon as your adrenaline died. They other two are sharing a room, by the way. It’s not far from yours. Other than that, you got some really deep wounds that managed to get infected. You’ll be getting some treatment for them... Other than that, you’ll probably be set free from the hospital with the other two in a few days, just for them to run some basic checkups. That’s all that I got- David knows more than me, but he’s going through a lot… I’m not going to press him for more information.”

“...Max…” Nerris managed to utter. It felt painful. Max was her  _ friend.  _ Albeit, he was an abrasive, angry friend who threw a tantrum at the smallest of things. But… he was like a little brother to her. Just like the rest of the kids at Camp Campbell. To be honest, she’d always been an only child. This felt different; relieving, like she actually had siblings.

“Everyone’s so scared,” Gwen replied. 

“I wanna visit him. Can I?” Nerris pleaded, looking straight into her eyes with raw desperation. She couldn’t take this waiting anymore.

Gwen physically recoiled.

“You… don’t want to see it. You already know how bad it is… I honestly don’t think it’ll help your worries at all. Besides… you’re… injured, too. It’s still very bad. You’re probably going to be here a little longer than the others.”

Nerris’ eyes dimmed. She turned back towards where she’d been, staring blankly at the white ceiling. It was so blank. Like an empty canvas that could be filled with creativity; how boring it was to look at.

Gwen stood up and stretched her arms. “I… need to talk to David. Are you okay here on your own?” She looked back at Nerris one last time.

_ No. No. No. No. No. No. Please don’t leave. I can’t sit here alone. _

Nerris smiled faintly. “I’ll be fine!”

Gwen flashed her a nervous smile and slipped out, clicking the door shut behind her. Nerris just stared blankly at her, smile slowly falling into a scared frown. She could hear the monitor of her heartbeat now something she hadn’t noticed.

_ Please come back. _

She sat down and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat with me on tumblr @qolden-skies


	8. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts to get better, even if just a bit.

Max awoke to white.

There were many foreign emotions running through his mind, ones he hadn’t felt in what felt like years. He felt his blood roaring in his ears, loud and distracting. Panic rose in his throat. His eyes slipped open, pupils dilated, and he felt for a moment like he couldn’t move. He couldn’t feel much of anything… it was all blurry and odd. He didn’t like it.

Then the awareness kicked in. He was staring at the ceiling, he realized; he was in the hospital, and he couldn’t remember why. There was a mask over his mouth and nose, allowing him to breathe. He felt needles sharply and almost unnoticeably protruding through his veins, pumping painkillers and other drugs into his system through his arm. At first he thought he was alone. Fear, albeit light, was the only thing keeping him awake.

Shuffling, next to him.

He wasn’t alone.

Max’s half-lidded eyes basically flew open, fists tightening and twisting over the sheets in his hospital bed. He started shaking. His immediate instinct was that  _ they  _ were back, like the last time he’d been in the hospital. Last time, they’d scolded him and yelled at him and then left him there because he got hurt, and that time he’d gotten hurt because he’d  _ wanted  _ to, because he just wanted them to fucking love him and they hadn’t. He flinched, waiting for the inevitable raising of voices, the thing he’d dreaded every day at camp.

“Max?”

David.

Why the hell was he here? Max barely managed to turn his head to meet David’s stupid freckled face, narrowing his eyes with stressed squirming so he could manage to keep himself awake. There was an annoying heat beneath his skin, occasional bursts of pain that’d make him gasp out, but otherwise it was just dull agony both in his stomach and chest and in one of his legs, that supposedly was in cast. He hadn’t moved it much, so he wasn’t sure.

He just blinked at him with so much shock that it was overwhelming. For a moment, the world seemed to spin as something horrific crept back into his mind, memories that his brain has suppressed when he met David’s eyes. Shit, had he almost  _ died?  _ Why did he remember the sensory details, but not what had happened? He couldn’t remember it, he couldn’t remember  _ anything other than that and he wanted to- _

“How are you doing?” David asked, cutting him out of his thoughts, so much stupid concern in his dumb voice and an even stupider shimmer of tears in the corner of his eyes, like it was the worst thing in the world and he was trying to keep it together in front of him because he cared that much.

To be honest, Max wanted to speak. The command didn’t process as his brain gave a big  _ fuck you  _ and left him to die, as he shivered in shock that shouldn’t have been there in the first place, trembling like he’d just been stricken.

He opened his mouth to say something-  _ anything- _ anything that’d work- his jaw trembled with pain and he sucked in a light, shallow breath, leaning back again. The words died on his tongue. Something powerful and  _ forceful _ flared in his gut. It felt painful, every word he attempted to utter stuck in his throat, and he just mouthed the words- he couldn’t  _ breathe _ , he  ** _couldn’t breathe, he-_ **

Max’s sharp teeth slammed down on his tongue, drawing blood. He could hardly feel the flaring sensation of pain, instead tasting the sharp salty tang of scarlet on his tongue, mingling with his saliva. Jade eyes fluttered open and closed. He gripped the sheets with a sharp inhale, staring blankly at the gray and white that surrounded him, completely losing the memory that David was there, too caught up in his own thoughts.

It’d been gray, too, before the disaster.

Everything had been black and blue and gray and dark and evil and the water had been so overwhelming and he’d been there alone, lying helplessly in his own blood, barely conscious until the blur of memories and the  _ burn  _ broke him out of his will to die. He didn’t know if he could ever fall in love with any aspect of camping ever again, because the moment he came back it could happen  _ again  _ and his idea of hiking when he needed a breather would be ruined because it could rain again and he could lose his way and –

_ I’m not there. I’m not there. I’m just being melodramatic.  _ He didn’t realize how erratically he was breathing until he finally ripped himself, panicky and confused, out of his own oddly strung together thoughts. Barely, he cracked his eyes open (when had he closed them?) and glanced at David, who’s lower lip trembled and his green eyes were basically glowing with fear and confusion and so many emotions and he’d left him hanging and he was being horrible-

He couldn’t speak. It wouldn’t work. It hurt too much. Instead, he collected himself, if only just a bit, and shrugged helplessly, not able to smile reassuringly, even if he wanted to. It felt wrong to smile. Fake, like it always was. It was hard to make himself grin unless it was involuntary. He could be fake, but not  _ that  _ fucking fake. It’d just hurt David more, because the dumb counselor could definitely read the panic in his expression and he kept dwelling on things that didn’t matter and he was being an idiot again shit shit shit…

He just clicked his tongue and moved backward against the frame of the bed, voluntarily squeezing his eyes shut again, whispering something that hurt his throat, so indecipherable that it didn’t even matter. He couldn’t burst out with a string of hoarse invective, or yell at him and he couldn’t cry, couldn’t show David how scared he was, or anyone. He couldn’t do that; he couldn’t show how vulnerable, but he couldn’t talk to people and annoy them either, the only thing that made him worth being around.

What was he without other people? What was the  _ point  _ anymore?

“Do you want me to leave?” David mumbled questioningly, eyes softening even more with pity that Max hated with every fiber of his being. To be honest, his immediate answer would be  _ no.  _ He didn’t, but he couldn’t say that.

No.  _ No. _ He didn’t want David to leave, admittedly. He wanted him to stay, to wrap him in his arms and whisper that he’d be okay, that everything would be okay, that he could calm down and he’d be out of it so Max could finally get hysterical and open the floodgates. He just wanted to be loved and told nothing was wrong, even though it wasn’t the truth and he  _ KNEW _ it. He just wanted that brief moment of reassurance, even if just for a moment…. 

Max nodded.

David pursed his lips and nodded back at him, standing up. Max watched him with fake venom in his eyes, because any mask was better than the obvious fear that’d he’d worn on his features. It was better than that. He couldn’t be a burden, show his vulnerability, act like  _ that again.  _ Like what had happened at Parent’s Day. He couldn’t worry David any more. Shit, he’d never forget the times that he’d hurt him just by existing miserably and blowing things out of proportion like he always did.

The door clicked shut in front of him. Max hardly processed it, closing his eyes with another sharp inhale, holding back the inevitable tears. One of the others could walk in and they’d see him crying like a little bitch- something he decidedly did  _ not  _ want to do. Everything was blurry and bleak and he should’ve shaken his head no and asked, actually  _ spoken,  _ let his thoughts out to the world so he wouldn’t have to drown in then like he was doing.

Damn, he wanted to swear and scream and cry and sob at David still. He wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to talk to Neil and Nikki, to reassure them so they’d stop worrying like he  _ knew  _ they were doing. He wanted to figure out where that burning feeling came from when he was half-dead in someone’s arms. He wanted to know everything in his emotional (not physical) absence. He wanted to know when Gwen had came, he just wanted to know what they wouldn’t fucking  _ tell him. Everything. _

He repositioned himself and slipped back into blackness. Faster than he’d expected to. The painkillers really weren’t much of a help to keeping awake. For some reason, sleeping felt relieving, like he was heading back to paradise after the horrors of real life.

He didn’t know what he’d wake up to, and he didn’t want to know.

* * *

_ Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. _

Harrison bounced his leg, waiting for results in bated breath. Neil was annoyingly tapping his fingers against the arm of his plastic chair, eyes glazed and distant-looking, always refusing to meet his. They sat there without a word passed, just as it had been for twenty minutes now. 

There were no distractions. Just waiting in fear,  _ so much fear,  _ that the results were going to be that Max or Nerris or Preston or Nikki had died. Harrison had attempted to start a conversation in order to take his mind off of everything. Neil had just looked at him with disappointment; so much of it that he’d flinched and shut his mouth, clicking his tongue and going back to bouncing his leg like he’d never spoken in the first place.

_ (It felt so familiar, yet so horrifying to sit like this, waiting for something that could either shatter his world or fill him with a burst of overwhelming joy, if only for a moment. Like the time he’d waited in the police station, for any signs of the one he’d lost as they searched desperately with his parents…) _

Not to mention how close he was to breaking down.

Other people drifted through the hospital, too. Sometimes people who waited for a few minutes before a nurse walked in and spoke to them under their breaths, before hurrying them out of the lobby. Sometimes doctors and nurses spoke to each other in hushed tones, rushing past without even giving them a passing glance. Sometimes people looked at them with confusion and continued on their way. Every look contained pity. Confusion. Fear for them. Curiosity. All things Harrison was used to, but also hated. From his peers, from his school, from Neil and Max, from his  _ parents. _

He’d visited Nikki and Preston earlier, and they’d both been out cold. Then Gwen had shushed them and beckoned them out of the room back to the lobby. When he’d asked for Nerris or Max ( _ two people he cared deeply about in camp, in a way that he hated them but also their presence felt comforting in a way, like he couldn’t bear to be without them) _ Gwen had denied his request and told him that he didn’t want to see it. It was stupid because he HAD seen it. He’d seen the worst of it.

_ (He’d seen Max, someone he considered a friend, half-dead, impaled by a branch. He’d seen Neil truly rise up and become a leader, a quality completely unlike him that’d shocked him. He’d seen Nerris, though briefly, with those gashes that made him want to vomit. He’d seen Nikki and Preston shivering and bruised and scarred. He’d seen shocked faces, he’d heard David crying in the rain and seen him terrified, he’d heard a cacophony of voices, and after a while it’d stopped affecting him. He’d have to be sturdy in his magical practices, despite how hard it was. Yet, truly, it was still his fault and he knew it.) _

After a few minutes, Gwen finally entered the room. Her face was solemn, but upon further inspection, there was a glimmer of hope in her eyes. Something that made Harrison’s heart swell with emotion that was close enough to happiness for him to smile, even if weakly. Neil instantly stood up, perked up and alert.

“How are they?” Neil instantly asked, before Harrison got a chance to even open his mouth.

Gwen sighed, which made Harrison’s smile disappear in an instant. “Nerris is okay. She’s exhausted and confused, but she’s awake. Preston and Nikki are awake as well. You can probably visit them if you want.”

Harrison and Neil exchanged a glance, and despite not really meeting each other’s eyes, they managed a brief psychic agreement; neither of them were worried about Preston and Nikki. Preston complained enough to get what he wanted. Nikki was literally incapable of dying. Nerris and Max concerned them quite a lot more. The people they wanted to see.

The lack of concern felt physically painful for him  _ (it felt BAD not caring, he should, he should feel bad) _ , but he tried not to show it. Neil was chewing on his bottom lip, multiple emotions flashing through his eyes that Harrison couldn’t really pinpoint. There was no anger whatsoever, thankfully. It made him feel less like shit. Neil wasn’t angry at him for doing what he did, just concerned and scared like he was. It felt so relieving that it was just going to be Max who was angry at him-...

“And Max?” Neil asked hopefully.

Gwen shrugged her shoulders with a somber frown. “...I haven’t seen him. David told me he woke up, though. That’s… really it. According to the doctor, it’ll be best if you visit him tomorrow after the surgery.”

_ Right. The surgery.  _ Harrison had forgotten about that.

“We’re going to be heading back to camp in about an hour. Preston and Nikki are going to come too, since they’re just finishing up everything. They recovered crazy fast,” Gwen chuckled dryly, none of her emotion really in it. She was just as lost as they were, which was relieving but also not at the same time. “Other than that… I don’t know.”

“T-Thank you,” Harrison stammered.

Gwen just nodded with a weak smile. “I’m going to go talk to David. Maybe go check to see if the car still works. I’ll see you two in a few minutes, okay?” She asked hopefully. Neil nodded and responded with a quiet  _ yes  _ for him. Harrison felt his heart swell with appreciation as Gwen nodded and exited the room, leaving them there.

Without really thinking, Harrison leaned back and sat in his chair. “...Max is gonna hate me…” He lamented, staring at the tile floor with red-rimmed eyes. Neil finally turned to look at him, but Harrison didn’t look at him back this time. It just felt… awkward to look him in the eyes now. Not after that.

“...Why?” Neil ended up asking, genuine confusion in his tone.

Harrison turned to him, not meeting his gaze. “I burned him, and I coulda spoken up, and…” He huffed, “...T-This is my fault, y’know… I did this… he’s even worse because I… I… y’know.” He gestured aimlessly, finally releasing the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind all day. Neil’s eyes softened. Harrison clenched his teeth.

“What are you talking about?” Eventually, in a low rasping whisper, was his riposte. Harrison finally looked at him with an expression that read,  _ You know what I’m talking about. Don’t act like that, you know its true. _

“It’s my fault,” Harrison repeated again, vision blurring with tears.

“It’s not,” Neil retorted, all know-it-all like he always was.

“It  _ IS!” _ He turned, shocked by his own outburst. Neil looked just as surprised, flinching back at the sudden raise in voice. Harrison, for just a moment, considered his options, before deciding to stand his ground. He was on his feet now, holding himself, sniveling uselessly as he failed to keep his cool.

“It’s my fault, I hurt him, I know I cauterized the wound but the way he reacted-” Harrison’s voice hitched with a sob. He dug his fingers into his hair, clawing at his head as he continued. “-I can’t stop thinking about it,  _ I did that,  _ I hurt him more, I know I had to but I can’t look at myself without… without remembering, and-”

Neil just stood stunned. Harrison took it as an offer to continue, to explain himself and his sins and all the things he did wrong.

“-I knew the activity was  _ wrong,  _ Neil- I knew it from the start, I knew the storm was coming and I did nothing to tell them no, I just let it happen and now Max and Nerris are hurt and they’re gonna hate me because I hurt them because I was stupid and its my fault its- I can’t-...” His voice broke off into a sob.

Neil made an unusual, guttural noise that bubbled in his throat. When he stood up, Harrison flinched backwards, expecting Neil to get angry and strike him like he was supposed to do. Instead, he felt a comforting, grounding hand on his shoulder, and he blinked through tears to open one eye and see Neil standing over him. He looked concerned, but also… there was something else there that Harrison couldn’t decipher this time.

“Harrison, listen to me.”

Like any smart person would, Harrison listened.

“It’s. Not. Your. Fucking. Fault,” Neil spaced out words like a parent would do to a child. “Okay? Do you get that? Its nobody's fault. All of us contributed to make this one of the worst nights of our lives. And its not just you, okay? You didn’t do  _ shit,  _ Harrison. Its not your fault. Do you get me?!”

He stared up at him with confused, shimmering eyes, and then wiped at his tears with a little sniffle. He needed that,  _ he’d needed that so much.  _ It felt so nice to hear. The self-blame wasn’t gone entirely, but even if just a bit, it’d subsided to leave admiration for one of his…  _ friends  _ to replace it. Neil was his friend now, right? Was that what he was now? He couldn’t tell.

Harrison looked up at him with another sob, and between his whimpers, he asked. “N...N-Neil?”

Neil hummed to show he was listening.

“W-We’re… we’re friends, right?”

A moment of silence, as if Neil was considering the question, like he wasn’t sure how to respond. Harrison’s heart plummeted; he’d judged the situation wrong, hadn’t he? His breath caught in his throat. 

_ (He expected the worst, to be told “we’re not friends” and for Neil to pull away and continue waiting silently like he did before. Or maybe he’d finally slap him like he was expecting, because they’d only had constant fighting and problems before the incident that had lead them to bond, and Neil was and would never be comfortable with him.) _

The opposite happened.

Neil sat down on the chair next to him, hand still on his shoulder. He’d been sitting maybe three or four chairs away before, but now he was right there, and Harrison felt his heart leap into his throat.

“Yeah… I guess we’re friends.”

Harrison smiled tearfully. 

* * *

“Wanna play twenty questions?”

“No thank y-”

“I have something in mind!”

Preston’s shoulders shot up at Nikki’s sudden raise in voice, and he sighed restlessly, squirming just a bit in the hospital bed. Blankets upon blankets had been piled over them, and hot cocoa steamed not far from where Preston laid, half-done as he’d taken a few gulps of it already. The hypothermia was basically gone at that point, but they were still wet and very badly bruised by almost drowning. Otherwise, everything was fine, and Preston had to deal with Nikki’s badgering for the time being.

“What is it, you beanbag?” Preston asked exhaustedly, louder than an average person would speak as he always did. Nikki noticed his lack of excitement, but bounced up and down anyway, seemingly unaffected by the chill in her bones (at least, that’s what Preston felt.)

“I’m going to give you a theme!” Nikki chirped, “Animals!”

Preston turned his head away with a sigh. “Is it a wolf?”

Nikki comically gasped, mouth flapping open with shock. “Oh my Gosh! Preston, how did you know?!” She implored, hands slamming down on the blankets as she stared at him with owl eyes. “Are you a magician like Harrison?! How did you do it?”

Preston drooped his head. This girl was going to be the death of him. She continued to bombard him with useless questions he didn’t care about, and then took a breather, squirming in her seat and staring up at the ceiling, making excited noises as she tried to guess how he figured it out. In truth, it was just obvious.

Then she abruptly stopped. Preston turned back to her, to see her staring contemplatively at the white ceiling, like she’d just figured something out and was attempting to process it. He followed her gaze up to the whiteness and found no value in it. Just a blank, almost creepy void. It looked padded as well, and it was not at all reassuring.

“How do ya think Max and Nerris are doing?” She suddenly asked, and Preston nearly physically jumped, gripping aimlessly at his blanket and sitting up with a confused gasp. Nikki was staring at him now, pupils dilated and expression thoughtful.

He didn’t know. He didn’t know and he didn’t have an answer to that question. Nerris’ wound was bad, but it wasn’t  _ that  _ bad (from what he knew anyway.) It was just infected, unless there was more going on than he was aware of. Without thinking, he took a long sip from his hot cocoa, feeling the warmth flood into his chest with a pleasant sound. Nikki didn’t look pleased at all, however.

“I don’t know,” Preston ended up replying. “I know Max isn’t good, like, for sure. But, as for Nerris, she’s tough! Also we’re like siblings now, because we decided on it! I’m sure the nurses are doing fine with them!”

That felt doubtful. He didn’t think about that part, though.

“You think we can leave?” Nikki asked with bright eyes, “We could, y’know! We could just get up and go! I’m sure Harrison and Neil are worried the most about us, y’know? Hypo-term-ia sucks! I wanna go talk to Neil! Show him that cool scar I got on my shoulder!”

Preston sighed.  _ Cool… scar.  _ His scars were  _ not  _ cool unless he applied them on with makeup. If he got a bad scar, it could make him unable to perform in the near future because it’d be too noticeable! Nikki may have had a future of leading a wolf pack, but he had a future of glamor, and this was setting him back. He didn’t like it; he wanted to get  _ out.  _ He was dealing with Nikki, alone, in a room, with occasional visits from the nurses and Gwen.

He hadn’t seen David yet, he realized. He was probably busy with Max, since he’d been impaled and all that… despite the situation being horrific, it hit him with an unneeded burst of inspiration that felt borderline… overwhelming. He wanted to pick up a pen and  _ write,  _ and he’d tried to. The nurses advised otherwise and wouldn’t give it to him.

Nikki was still talking his ear off and he’d zoned out. Oops.

“-nd I also think Ered’s gonna find it really cool too, and if she does that means I’ll be even cooler! Do you think so, Preston?” She looked at him with bright, unblinking eyes, and Preston subconsciously nodded to pretend that he was listening.

_ You’re a wreck, Preston Goodplay! Keep yourself together! This is your younger sister FIGURE we’re talking about!  _ A voice echoed in his head. He decided to change the subject so it’d shut the fuck up, and turned to face Nikki, who was leaning towards him and trembling with excitement, but also nervousness evident on her features. It was an interesting sight to see as she rambled.

“Have you seen David?” Preston asked.

“Not since the ambulance ride,” Nikki replied, except she absolutely  _ butchered  _ the word ‘ambulance.’ Which was annoying, but Preston didn’t have the energy to correct her. “Maybe he went back to camp, ‘cos I dunno if he trusts big buff Campbell guy and Quartermaster with SK, Ered, and Nurf… also Dolph!”

“That’s fair,” Preston responded distantly, and then turned away. His mind screamed at him to continue talking to her, but he just wanted to  _ sleep.  _ Nikki was an unstoppable force. No matter how tired he got, as long as she was awake, she’d continue talking.

The door opened. Preston flinched. Nikki looked over without a care in the world.

Gwen stood in the doorway, with a nurse beside her. She walked inside with a few steps and mumbled something under her breath to the nurse, before turning to stare at the two of them with bright eyes, looking relieved. 

“Alright, kids,” Gwen began, “Nurse Mary’s going to do a final checkup on you to make sure you two are fine, then you’ll be out of the hospital’s hair. We’re going back to camp, but we’ll be coming back tomorrow. Your temperature is back to normal at this point.”

“Cool!” Nikki laughed, throwing off her blankets and getting her leg tangled in one, catching herself before she could land face-first onto the floor, and then galloped over to stand next to Gwen. Preston took a bit longer and did the exact same, except a lot more tired than usual. Normally he’d be just escatic as her, but these circumstances were different.

They left the room with a mixture of excitement and fear.


	9. Shatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconciliation is a fragile thing, especially after a traumatic event.

“Nerris?”

She repositioned the phone so she wasn’t straining to use it, pressing it to her ear with her shoulder as she stared out into the distance. Gwen was looking at her with the usual soft smile, but was otherwise quiet, hands pulling nervously at the collar of her shirt while Nerris spoke on the phone.

“Yeah- Mom, Dad, I’m fine-” She chuckled at the doting whine from the other end, “Seriously, I just got a couple of scratches, its okay that you couldn’t make it, its fine, its fine, I’m fine, see?”

“W-We can drive right over,” Her mother’s tone was shaking, unsure,  _ afraid.  _ “You don’t have to be alone, okay? I’m gonna drop everything, you can come back, you shouldn’t have to stay in camp like this, y’know-”

Nerris gripped the sheets with her hands, sucking in a hesitant breath through her teeth. “No, no, Mom! I swear, I like camp, its fine, I’m fine, okay?! You don’t have to worry, I  _ want _ to go back, I love it there-”

“Are you sure?” There was a response from her father, who’d been silent for most of the conversation, “It’s so dangerous, you know, we can move you to a better camp which is more inside, and you can roleplay with a full party!”

She didn’t even consider that option. A few weeks ago, she would’ve. But something pulsed in her veins; realization, obligation, and the fact that she was wholly content with where she was. She had people she considered  _ siblings  _ here. If she dropped out on them, how would that make them feel? She didn’t like that option in the slightest.

“No,” Nerris repeated, “Mom, Dad, this camp has really helped! I’m getting to try new stuff to improve my stats! Lots of fun stuff. Its so nice, y’know, I don’t want to leave, and I have so many friends-”

Saying that felt… nice. She never had many friends in school. The thought of close friends, people she borderline considered  _ family,  _ made her heart swell with pride. She couldn’t leave. Not after that. Not after nearly losing them and realizing how much she cared.

Her mother must’ve put her on speaker, because her voice was a bit more distant. “Are you sure? We’re so worried, you’re injured, you’re in the hospital, we don’t want to lose you-”

“It’s just an infection, Mom!” She retorted, “Seriously. I’m okay. Promise.”

“You promise?” Her father whispered.

“I promise. I’ll be out tomorrow, don’t worry!” She grinned, “I’m just gonna stay the night at the hospital and I’ll go back to camp. If anything happens I’ll call you, okay? Update you on all the details, when I’m back to camp and stuff like that.”

“Okay,” Her father finally responded. “Seriously. If anything happens, call-”

“Yep!” 

Gwen huffed from where she was standing. Nerris looked up with a shocked expression- she’d forgotten Gwen was there, and she’d forgotten that she was using her phone. Gwen gave her a questioning look. She shrugged her shoulders with a slight smile, making an amused noise. That moment of bliss felt relieving; her parents were worried and she was okay. She was miraculously okay and it was amazing.

She remembered what happened to Max and her smile dropped. Her parents were rambling now, mostly at her, updating her on their lives and what was up with them, probably to make her feel better. Nerris had zoned out. She hadn’t really been paying attention. She hummed instead, pretending to.

“We’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Her father finally concluded, “Are you going to have a final checkup?”

“Yeah, tomorrow. Nine AM.”

“We’ll call at ten, okay?” He said, voice wavering with Fatherly Worriedness™. “If anything happens, seriously, call us first. I can’t stand the idea that anything would hurt you, but- we’re worried.”

“Promise, promise!” She repeated, “I’ll talk to you two later, right? Gwen probably needs her phone back.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right. Love you. So much.”

“Love you too, mom, dad,” She smiled weakly again, pulling the phone away, hands shaking. She didn’t have the energy to utter another word, hanging up and staring blankly as the screen faded away.

Nerris burst into tears.

Gwen perked up with stilled shock, making a beeline to the side of her bed, hands lingering over her like she wasn’t sure if she should touch her. “Shit, kid- are you, uh… are you alright?” At the edges of her voice was raw nervousness, not knowing what she was able to do, the  _ same worries her parents had expressed just moments ago- _

“No, no!” Nerris sobbed, breath hitching, “T-These are… semi-happy- tears-” She sniffled, hiccuping, rubbing uselessly at her eyes with her sleeves. She was still wearing a hospital gown. “It was- just so happy to hear their voices- I think I… I hung up on them too fast, I-”

A hand rested on her shoulder. Gwen smiled softly at her. “Don’t worry. They probably would’ve spoken to you for a while, you know. Neil was on the phone with his mom for two hours.” She laughed, though it was weak, just as it always was. Nobody was happy. Not with Max hurt like he was. Whenever they tried, it’d slam into them like a truck. The realization that nothing about their situation was okay.

“Two hours?” Nerris stuttered. “Oh…”

“Yeah,” Gwen held one arm and bit her lip nervously. Nerris, with shaking hands, held the phone out to her. She lightly took it and shoved it in her pocket with a sigh. “He’s going to go talk to Max now. He woke up, apparently.”

Nerris shuffled in her bed, “Wait,  _ really?”  _ She wanted to stand up so bad all of a sudden. “Oh,  _ oh,  _ he’s okay? Like, how conscious was he?”

Gwen just shrugged. Nerris felt a silent descent into madness. Not even the adult in the situation knew what was going on, and shit, she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her horribly nervous. It was maddening, how little they all knew.

“David was there with him,” Gwen mumbled, “Uh, when he left the room, he was crying…” Her eyes dimmed, “Neil’s going to go talk to him. David’s allowing him to.”

“Why Neil?” Nerris asked quietly.

“I don’t know… those two are really close, and since Nikki’s back at camp with David, they just… decided to let him in. I don’t know the details really. Shit, I probably should’ve asked.” She ran her fingers through her hair, nervous.

“...Mm…” Nerris had stopped listening.

She just stared into the distance, unsure of everything she’d been told.

* * *

Max awoke from feverish sleep to someone entering his room again.

He barely was able to crack his eyes open- the stabbing pain he should’ve felt was reduced to a dull crackle of electricity in his chest. His breathing was labored and rough, but he was still alive, he was still  _ breathing.  _ Knowing that made him relieved. It was dumb, but it was the truth.

“Max?” A familiar, grating,  _ deafening  _ voice. It was so quiet, but it roared in his head, bouncing around in his skull. He inhaled roughly, chest shaking, and forcibly moved himself up to catch a frail gulp of air. He turned his head around weakly.

Familiar eyes. A familiar face.

_ Fuck, is that- _

The concept of speaking made his gut twist, and his throat close up. He wanted to utter his close friend’s name, to say  _ something, _ anything, but it made him just want to vomit. He worried that if he’d said his name, he would’ve puked all over the floor.

“Can you sit up?” Neil asked weakly.

Max closed his eyes and scrunched up his face with a hiss of pain. However, he obliged (it was so tiring, he was so  _ tired)  _ and sat up, shoulders slumping, using his shaking arms to hold himself up with a few weak gulps of breath that felt physically painful to do. It hurt to breathe, god dammit, he wanted it to be easy again.

Cool fingers briefly brushed his shoulders, and he didn’t know how a feather-light, hesitant touch could shatter him like it did. Like a hammer struck into a glass vase. The pieces went flying in every direction, his mind (truly the last remnants of him left, the last thing he could trust in, the last thing he  _ knew _ ) staticky, disassociating, the presence that he would’ve been used to by now sticking out like a sore thumb. Suddenly that cool, comforting touch felt  _ hot, hot, hot- _

Neil pulled away, exhaling weakly, tentatively, rocking on his feet with uncertainty, like he’d done something wrong. The sigh that released from the taller boy caused Max to stiffen like a board, coiling just a bit more into his tight, uncomfortable ball. It wasn’t visible in Neil’s eyes. Maybe his imagination, the thought of that, was just running wild. He’d never truly be sure.

Max knew, he  _ knew  _ that Neil couldn’t see anything. In their brief moment of silence, Neil’s eyes searched him for a moment, staring at him, waiting for anything,  _ anything-  _ anything that’d show something was wrong. Proof that he was either okay, or not okay. Max knew how to slap a board over his emotions this time, however. Instead of his weakness, all that was visible was the same deafening venom in his face; the intensity, yet the tired expectation that the world was going to shit all over him. It had this time. It had and there was nothing he could’ve done.

“Uh… fuck,” Neil mumbled, “Do you want me to leave?”

_ Do you want me to leave? _

** _Do you want me to leave?_ **

David had asked that. He’d said yes, he’d dismissed him, and when he’d finally fallen back into sleep, he’d slept fitfully, pulling up memories of being burned, stabbed, skewered, bleeding out alone in the woods, and staring at what could’ve happened- what could’ve happened if he hadn’t been discovered. He didn’t remember much of that circumstance.

At one moment, he’d been gone. He’d cracked open his eyes, staring at David and Gwen, hearing sirens roaring in his ears, and he’d smiled. He’d said something he couldn’t remember, then he’d fallen back out, and awoke in the hospital to see David, and then he’d drifted away. He’d woken up again, and now Neil was here. Everything was patchy, cracks in his memory, like puzzle pieces had fallen into the void, never to be recollected. He couldn’t even piece together the exact linear events that had lead up to everything, despite being conscious for a lot of it. He furrowed his eyebrows. It was terribly frustrating.

This time, he shook his head.  _ Don’t leave. _

Neil sat down next to them, and they spent a moment of awkward, comfortable silence. Just being in his presence was somehow relieving.

“Harrison’s really worried,” Neil stammered, “He, y’know, had to cauterize your wound… and, shit, uh… he blames himself for a lot of this.” The taller boy was sweating nervously, unsure of himself. Something Max knew he should’ve been used to by now, but it still irritated him.

He just blinked at him and didn’t say a fucking word.

Neil gulped. “I wanted to make him talk to you, but I don’t… know how comfortable he’d be with that right now. He’s pretty beat up about it.”

Blink. Blink. Silence.

He shuffled uncomfortably in his spot. “I mean… would  _ you  _ be okay with talking to him? He needs reassurance, I don’t think I completely got through to him, and I really want to help him, and he really thinks he hurt you…”

Neil trailed off. Max silently gestured for him to go on.

“...You know what he did, right? He cauterized it, he had to help pull the branch out- do you remember any of that? I mean, shit, actually, that’s a stupid question. You wouldn’t be able to remember that, you were probably out of it… right?”

_ Faintly. _

Just a bit. He remembered more than he’d prefer to let on.

Max bit down on his tongue again to stop himself from whining. He ended up just sighing and glancing away, silently expressing his discomforts. Neil seemed to get the point, shuffling backwards, and they pulled themselves back into silence.

Thinking about that searing heat made Max’s heart fucking shrivel up and die right there. He wanted to goddamn scream, yell at Neil, yell at David, scream at  _ Harrison  _ for-... for caring. About him. What the fuck? Why would he be angry at that?

Just for a moment, he really considered his life choices.

“God dammit, Max-” Suddenly, out of the blue, “-Just, just…  _ just say something!” _

His gaze shot right back into reality, stiffening like a board, staring at Neil with wide, unblinking eyes as he fumed right in front of him. The situation felt oddly familiar, for some reason. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I can’t- I just, tell me you’re okay!” Neil snapped, then bit his lower lip so hard that he was probably going to draw blood. “Everyone else is great, Nikki and Preston are out, Nerris is getting out really soon, but nobody knows how you’re doing and  _ fuck,  _ I’m so scared of this! Of everything! Of you just up and  _ dying  _ because of spite!”

The outburst caused him to physically cringe. He closed his eyes, trembling.

“I know you’re hurting, okay?! I understand that, but I can’t fucking help you because you’re not… telling me… anything! I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t know where and how you’re hurting… uh, other than like… physically. But  _ still!” _

They locked eyes.

Max didn’t say anything. Just shook and stared.

Neil’s eyes darkened. Max’s face fell. This was so familiar for some reason. Like he’d said something like that to Neil in the beginning, and now he was a goddamn hypocrite for doing the same thing he’d hated all that time ago. Self-loathing hit him like a truck. He finally looked away, cracks webbing against the tank that was his emotions. He’d always be able to fix the leaks. This felt different.

“...I’m leaving.”

Max shot up again, eyes wide. Neil had stood up from his chair, staring down at him with furrowed eyebrows and dark, impossibly angered, impossibly  _ terrified, worried _ eyes, and turned away, facing away from him.

He left and didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bother me on my tumblr @qolden-skies
> 
> https://qolden-skies.tumblr.com/


	10. Mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything gets better in the end.

_ He’d felt only a moment of relief in his freefall. _

_ Then, as fast as it came, the feeling dissipated as the air rushed through his fingers. His adrenaline nearly made his heart burst- a feeling of dread in waves rushing over his body, pain rupturing through his stomach, something portruding- protruding- right in the gut. _

_ Flames. Lapping at his stomach, sending bursts of gut-wrenching agony. Fabric twisting in his fingers. Crying. Sobbing. Everything deep, dark, dim. Drifting in and out of consciousness. White. Blurred faces. Caring words. Gasping. _

_ So much yelling. So much blood. _

_ A river of blood. So much of his own blood he was bathing, choking in it. Fire rushing through his veins. Too much scarlet for him to cry out. He was in someone’s arms, surrounded by people, but all he felt was cold fear. Just nothing. Nobody to care. _

_ Alone. _

He awoke.

Max burst forward, clutching his hospital gown. He shivered full-body, sweat rushing down his face, squeezing his eyes shut and putting one hand over his mouth to stifle a choked cry. The thought of speaking felt like someone had just made him swallow a fucking sword. Bad analogy, but it got his point across. The white gave him a headache.

...Ultimately, he was still alone.

Something unnatural curled in his stomach. It was rare he’d feel that dumb fucking emotion, but it’d been so common during his time in the hospital, drifting in and out of conciousness. It was difficult to describe, but leaned more towards like… a gaping hole. In his chest. Like he was always hungry, but also not. During his time at camp, feeling that had been extremely rare. 

He’d felt it once or twice after getting accustomed. Once at Parent’s Day, he remembered. That whole situation caused him to bite his lip. He usually had put it in the box of his most traumatic experience in the shithole that he called camp, but… damn, did he have to replace it now? Just start telling people at school, _ ‘yeah, I got impaled by a big-ass branch, my wound was burned shut by someone who won’t fucking talk to me and all of my friends started to hate me after that’? _

Fucking dammit. They’d probably laugh and call him a liar. Just like everyone else did. Just like all adults did. He forgot that some people his age could be so truly goddamn malicious. Just like adults, when prompted to. The dread in his stomach coiled more.

The door opened.

He didn’t jolt that time, the emotion too powerful, evoking more exhaustion within him. It was pretty fucking sad to him, because he’d just woken up. He felt a lot better at that point, though he was probably still on painkillers. The passage of time had truly been blurred together, but Gwen had visited him a few times, notified him that they’d cancelled all mentions of hiking on their schedule and done some general camptivities to lighten the mood.

Upon that news, he’d brushed her off by shrugging his shoulders and curling up, staring at the wall. When she’d left, however, he’d smiled lightly. Just imagining what shit his dumbass friends had been up to made him grin uncontrollably, something he’d never admit to fucking _ anyone. _Even if they hated him now because he was a scared little baby and they’d seen him be that.

_ No vulnerability, _ he’d told himself. _ I can’t get attached, or they’ll leave me and I’ll break again. _

He was lucky Gwen wasn’t pushy enough to make him talk, like Neil had attempted to do… he’d really tried too hard. Max had equally been a dick, though. He kind of deserved the silent treatment. There’d been no other visits from other campers after he’d left. Probably convinced the dumbasses to hate him just like everyone else did. Nothing new.

“Max?”

Oh. _ Oh. _

That was David, someone he hadn’t seen for a while (but it felt like forever) staring at him with those big, pleading eyes. As if hoping for his forgiveness, like he’d done something _ wrong _to him, and he wanted to make it right. Max gritted his teeth and sat up to the best of his ability, wincing at a dull, stifled pain in his leg.

“I’m sorry for bothering you-” _ You’re not bothering me! _“-But I just wanted to check up on you, bud. Doctor says you’re getting out of the hospital soon, y’know?”

Max just blinked at him, face neutral.

David sat down in the chair and crossed his arms, lip wobbling. He didn’t look him in the eyes for once, the fucker. “I know what you’re probably wanting to ask-” _ No you don’t. No you don’t. _“-But… we… um…” He stumbled over his words and blinked away tears.

Max, for once, fucking wished he could speak. Slap that teary-eyed face away. Because for once, just once, he wanted to see David be happy. He wanted to see the David he knew, because he’d started to connect that David with someone who acted like that when everything was okay. He just fucking proved it; _ nothing _was okay. He knew it already, but it felt like a slap to the face anyway.

“...We couldn’t… contact your parents.”

Max just glared at him. He felt that dull ache of loneliness, but shoved it away, mostly just unsurprised. David had winced for a moment like he’d expected Max to blow up on him, and was shocked by his expression. Max saw his face crumple up, the indifference just as hard-hitting, and there was another goddamn awkward silence. This happened every time someone visited, because Max couldn’t talk without nearly having a breakdown. Something he’d rather fucking not do.

“I’m sorry,” David whispered, as if attempting to continue to fill the gaping hole. “I don’t know why they do this to you, Max. You’re such a good kid, you know that, right?”

He narrowed his eyes, miffed and unbelieving.

“I’m…” David chuckled wetly, holding one arm. “...Kind of mad at them, you know.”

Now _ that _was at least slightly surprising. David? Mad? Max’s eyebrows shot up as David began to stammer, as if what he’d said was objectively wrong. Like he wasn’t supposed to be angry, which made some rage curl in Max’s chest himself.

David stopped shuffling and collected himself, sucking in a long breath. Max curiously cocked his head to the side.

“S-Sorry!” David squeaked, “I just- that’s not good parenting, y’know? We’ve gone through some stuff and the summary is that you’re gonna be staying at camp until the end of summer. Our little insurance helped us pay for medical bills, luckily enough.”

_ Looks like Campbell did something right for once. _Oh damn, he wanted to say that so bad. Instead, he just shrugged with an approving look at the information. 

David blinked at him.

“Why aren’t you-” David blinked a ton again, before his eyes widened with recognition, “Oh, jee, can you not-” He stopped finding his words and just gestured aimlessly to his own neck, as if indicating speaking. Max rolled his eyes and nodded along.

“Oh,” David mumbled, “Oh. _ Ohhh… _Neil mentioned something about that earlier, but he couldn’t figure it out. Do you want me to tell hi-”

Ignoring the pain, Max shot upward and shook his head furiously, eyes darkening like thunderstorms. David got the memo and backed up against his chair with his hands raised, nodding and then relaxing, picking aimlessly at the collar of his shirt.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” David mumbled, “It’s okay if you don’t want people to know, y’know? Just gotta be subtle, haha.”

Oh fuck. That was so awkward and ingenuine.

Max snapped his fingers, and David’s attention was to him in moments, words dying out with the sudden change. Then he rolled his eyes to prove his point, and promptly flashed his camp counselor the middle finger. 

David smiled warmly.

“Yeah,” David just mumbled. “Can I-”

Max narrowed his eyes at him, but begrudgingly nodded.

Careful of what was kinda hooked up to him, David lurched forward and instantly hugged him, squeezing tight, apologizing breathily when Max growled at him. They just stayed in that position for a long, awkward moment, but Max had really never felt better for it.

As regrettable as it was. He felt that gaping pit of loneliness begin to settle, to drip away as the warmth and comfort replaced it. He’d never admit to the world how good it felt to be _ hugged. _Genuinely, without regret, with actual emotion. He’d been hugged by people before, but it’d felt awkward and misplaced, and forced and ingenuine.

As soon as he felt David wasn’t paying attention, silently, Max melted into the touch.

* * *

Things had noticeably picked up from there, Neil could note with confidence.

As soon as they’d arrived back at camp, everyone had been beaten and broken… emotionally, at least. Nerris was still pretty bandaged up, but otherwise at least okay. Nikki and Preston had made sure of it. The three had bonded over the experience, even to the point where they had all that sibling junk going on. It was kinda repulsive.

After that, two days later, as David had gone to set up a calm activity, Gwen had lurched into the cabin with the schedule calendar, proclaimed that their schedule was fucked in such a dramatic voice that Preston gasped, and scribbled out all mentions of search and rescue and hiking from the calendar, right in front of all of the campers. 

Neil had only lightly smiled when Nikki had burst into fits of squeaking laughter next to him, before dying down into low chuckles. Gwen had been panting, but surprisingly had sat down and checked up with everyone, sharing some brief words with Neil and Nikki before peacing out to go deal with the camptivity, mostly to help out David. 

If only for a moment, Neil felt a sense of euphoria. Removing all mentions of hiking had only been the beginning, and hot damn if the whole situation didn’t feel comforting. Maybe they’d laze around for a few weeks, Neil could sit back and code, maybe hang with Nikki and watch her do stupid stuff and just kinda watch like he always did. 

As much as he missed Max, he had to keep going and wait. Be patient. Unfortunately, everyone didn’t share that patience.

To put it short, Max was a balance in the camp. The others would always deny liking him- calling him an asshole (which was at least true, but he was a charming asshole), laughing at him when he rarely slipped up, only taking his side when he was annoyingly true, and even then it was all begrudging. But in the end, he was kind of the favorite among all of them, and the member of the group that tied everyone together. The leader, but in a different sense, in a more metaphorical way than expected. As much as he claimed it was literal.

So, without that balance that kept camp going, the few weeks were spent in quiet tension. They’d acted fine, but everything had been empty and soulless and confused. Preston had put on a play to ease tensions, but as soon as a scene involving fire had begun, and the camp had almost been set on fire, Harrison had lurched out of his seat and rushed off.

Neil had followed him, and found him hiding in his camp, shuffling his cards with a solemn expression.

“Hey!” He managed, though it was all half-assed. Harrison jolted and whipped around, before sighing with relief and unceremoniously dropping his cards back to the ground.

“Hi… Neil.”

“Are you okay?”

Harrison looked up as he hadn’t expected that question to come. He then just sat down and began to recollect his things, eyes dim and face flushed like he was about to cry, occasionally wracked with little tremors. There was an uncertain look in his eyes.

“Well… as good as I can be,” He explained, voice shaky. “It is just that… _ fire.” _

That final word came out so breathy that everything clicked in Neil’s mind at a rapid pace, and he nodded in agreement. “Fire,” He responded in understanding, just as quiet, and he sat down next to him, watching him work his cards.

“I can’t stop thinking of that,” Harrison mumbled, and Neil nodded, patting him on the back. He’d never been good at comfort, as someone who’d always considered himself to be more analytical. But… he had to try.

“I can't either,” Neil responded, grabbing the nearest twig and poking at the soil with it, unsure of what to draw. “I don’t think I can ever wear another one of those dumb camp shirts ever again. It just makes me feel gross after all that.”

Harrison’s eyes softened. “Oh...”

“Yeah, I’m gonna see if I can head into town and get something to replace it. Knowing what happened, they’ll probably understand.”

“Don’t relate,” Harrison replied solemnly.

“Yeah,” Neil mumbled distantly. “I’m sure Max will forgive you, by the way. I don’t mind talking some sense into him.”

“He doesn’t listen to anyone,” Harrison responded, “Why would he listen to you, Neil?”

“Because _ I’m _ his fucking friend,” Neil jabbed one finger at his chest with a fake smirk. “Trust me, I totally know what I’m doing. I’ve been through hell and back already; I’m sure Max being a bit angry isn’t going to scare me.”

Harrison narrowed his eyes at him.

“Okay… Just… don’t do anything stupid, kay? You don’t need to do this.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Neil said with uncertainty. “We’re friends, right?”

Harrison met his eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, and that was the moment of truth. Suddenly, he flashed Neil a crooked smile, laughed quietly, awkwardly, and replied, “...Yeah, of course we are. Why would we be anything else?”

Neil had given a relieved grin.

* * *

Things were supposed to pick up when Max returned. They didn’t.

Even though his return had been highly anticipated and expected, the shock was already powerful enough when David had come back from the hospital one day with Max at his side. He came back in crutches, still stitched up, being notified that he’d go back to the hospital for a checkup every few days, but he was back, and that’s what had mattered. He’d been shockingly lucky, and his recovery time (and the fact that he’d managed to recover) could almost be described as magical. _ It certainly fucking felt that way. _

Naturally, everyone had crowded around him, chirping excitedly and bombarding him with questions. When Nerris asked something specific, Neil watched him open his mouth to respond, and then nearly trip backward with a sudden wave of what could only be explained as _ shock, _before shaking himself out of it and just not replying.

Neil had stayed away, not really paying much attention, but he did notice when people’s voices began to get louder, and how Max flashed David a desperate look that nobody else picked up, and how David gulped and rushed into the crowd to usher everyone away with a voice just loud to pick up their attention.

“Alrighty, campers!” He said, tremors in his voice, “Max needs some… space, so we’re going to allow him to go to his tent for the time being. For now, let’s do… some… archery!”

“Aww!” Nerris protested, “But it’s a _ Saturday!” _

David deflated and then glanced at Max just for a moment, unsure of what to say, but Gwen managed to interject at just the perfect time.

“Kids, _ come on. _Max needs some space, so give it to him.”

There was a chorus of disappointed groans and growls, but everyone obliged, trotting after their counselors and off to the activities field. Neil hung back silently with his arms crossed, but Max didn’t seem to notice him. Just silently limped off to their tent, head drooped and expression tense. Passed him without a word, and Neil lost all motivation to tell him off or even talk to him. He just let him pass with a concerned expression, and then whipped around to go meet the others at the activities field.

When Neil had returned to his tent at night, Max was sound asleep, shockingly still in his hoodie, curled into a tight, uncomfortable knot. Neil had laid down and had a restless sleep, but he’d managed to fall into dreaming after a few of what felt like hours of tossing and turning. He awoke the next day, late, and Max was still just… lying there. He couldn’t tell if he was awake or not, so he didn’t even ask.

He didn’t come to the mess hall that day.

Neil had sat down at a table, _ alone, _with Nikki, who was eating some shittily made waffles for breakfast, smeared with syrup that must’ve been aged a few decades. She didn’t seem to mind, though, too encapsulated with eating the soggy shit and eyeing Neil’s when he looked at it without appetite. Eating felt wrong to do, for once.

Nikki eyed him with concern, then let out a low hum, before finally speaking. “Mmm… where’s Max? Thought he’d be out here by now!”

“In his tent,” Neil replied distantly.

“Yeah,” Nikki mumbled, then took another bite of her waffle, not even chewing on it before swallowing. After that, she licked at her sticky fingers, set her fork down, and just… sat there in silence as the other campers talked around them.

The silence was annoying.

Nikki felt determined to break the tension, however, because she piped up with less optimism. “How’s he doing? He bother you all with his usual?”

“No.”

Her face morphed into something worried. “Did he even talk?”

_ “No.” _

“Oh… why not?”

“I don’t know, Nikki!” Neil suddenly snapped, hands slamming down on the table. He was lucky nobody noticed. “I can’t fucking tell you everything. He’s still hurt and recovering, and he hasn’t spoken at all since he’s got here! We should just leave him alone.”

“But-”

“I’m gonna go code.”

He fled from the mess hall in silence.

* * *

The weeks after that were just silent. He was getting better, as was Max, but he’d never tell him about it. Whenever Neil was there, he’d just be… laying there. Silent in his tent. Neil was supposed to feel better, but seeing his friend like that…

He didn’t know if he’d ever feel better again.

The storm changed everything, in the end.

* * *

_ CRACK! _

Neil awoke abruptly to the sound of thunder rattling his tent. He blinked his eyes blearily. The storm raging outside wasn’t as loud as whatever he’d heard, which he assumed was a raccoon or Muack or something. He felt compelled to go back to back to bed, before he noticed that the coffee machine had been knocked over.

“Oh…” Thoughts were beginning to piece together as he glanced around, and his eyes widened. There was no shape in Max’s blankets. He was out of his bed, and he was _ gone. _Neil’s mind began to race. He clutched his sheets tighter.

_ Fuck- fuck- _ He gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to think about this! He thought it was over! Basically flying off his bed, he didn’t bother to untangle his leg from the sheets as he frantically gazed at every edge of his tent, and _ finally, _his eyes landed on someone trembling in the corner, hood over their head, whimpering and possibly crying.

The thunder cracked again. There was lightning outside- lighting up the tent just for a moment, but now Neil understood that it was unmistakably Max cowering there. He could hear the rain showering- it felt so reminiscent of… _ I… never thought that Max would be traumatized by this. _He bit his lip, face falling in shame.

Neil made sure to be careful, since he wasn’t the best at comfort, and he really didn’t want to hurt David anymore. Getting on his knees behind him, trying to look the smallest as possible, he softly called out for his friend.

“Hey… Max… are you okay?”

The boy seized up in front of him and wiped at his eyes, but he didn’t look around. Neil heard a frustrated huff, like he wasn’t exactly happy with waking him up. Neil frowned, feeling bad about it, but continuing nonetheless.

_ What would David say? Umm… _ “Hey, I’m not mad, dude. Just concerned.” _ Would he say that? Fuck, I’m so bad at this. _

Finally, Max shifted in his spot, and hesitantly looked behind his shoulders. Neil stared into his eyes, terrified by how _ vulnerable _he looked. A boom of thunder caused them both to jump, and Max scooted away more, pulling at his hoodie strings with discomfort and avoiding his gaze. At least he was facing him now.

_ Fuck this storm, Jesus Christ. _“You can tell me what’s going on,” Neil already knew the answer to that offer. He looked at Max with only softness, burying his frustration deep so it wasn’t visible on him. He didn’t want to make matters worse; to be honest, he wanted to help, and this storm was making things worse.

Max peeked out behind his hood, which was covering his eyes. In the darkness, his eyes almost looked like they were _ glowing. _ Perhaps it was a sparkle of anticipation, or relief, or just amazement that Neil felt compelled to actually help him. Neil’s gut twisted with shame. _ Have I ever actually done this for him before? _

“...r’lly?” He slurred. That was the first thing that Neil had heard from him for so _ long. _Ever since the incident. Maybe that shock was finally simmering down, but that feeling of relief really stabbed him in the ribs.

“Yeah,” Neil replied, “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

Sharply inhaling, Neil tentatively held open his arms offeringly. He flinched, waiting for Max to berate him, since this was probably the weirdest situation they’d been in like… all week. He closed his eyes, and-

A shape slammed into him. Neil was taken aback by the force as Max jumped onto him, weeping softly into his chest. Neil froze, not sure how to move or act, silent and flinched as Max’s small frame curled up into him, trembling and shaking with choked, wet sobs.

_ He really needed this. _

“...’m sorry…” The first indicator that something was wrong was evident in him actually _ apologizing. _ That was a rarity all in itself. “...’s just... the _ storm, _and-” He burrowed his face into Neil’s shirt with a sniffle, eyes half-lidded and exhausted.

Very hesitantly, Neil wrapped his arms around him, understanding of his fear. “You don’t need to apologize.”

Max squirmed, pulling back to gaze into his eyes. Confusion fell over his features, as if silently questioning, _ I thought you liked it when I apologized. _“H-Huh… wh… b-but…” The thunder crashed again. Max lowered down again, back into his old position with a whimper. Neil frowned.

“It’s not you,” Neil retorted, “Apologizing? Who are you and what did you do to Max?”

Max sighed, chest rattling as his breaths slowed down. He growled quietly. “S-Shut the f-fuck up, Neil…” There was the Max he knew.

“There you go,” Neil patted him on the back. Max growled with frustration and he instantly stopped, arms awkwardly at his sides. _ Shit, maybe I shouldn’t be so lenient about this. I’m not David. I don’t think he’s used to this treatment… should I talk to him? David would know what to do, but… _

“We could go to the counselor’s cabin,” Neil offered.

“O-Oh, f-f’ck no!” Max resisted, voice forced and grating. It must’ve hurt to speak. He began to move away. Neil felt the stubbornness wash over him and he shifted, lightly grabbing his arm.

Max barrelled on, voice ending in an angry, whiny drawl as he ripped out of Neil’s weak grip. “D-David shouldn’t f’ckin know ‘bout this, ‘s emb’rrassing…”

“That’s fine,” Neil replied shakily, “How about this. We can go back to bed and forget this happened? I understand if you don’t want to-”

“No- f’ck- _ no. _Not that, either,” he mumbled, moving a bit forward and putting one hand on his shoulder, tentative and confused. “I-... Neil… could we… ummm… j’st…”

Neil just blinked at him.

“S-Stay like this… for a while?”

“Yeah, I don’t have a problem with that.”

Max gave a reluctant hum of understanding, and shuffled forward, holding his arms out. The whole thing made him look confused, like he wasn’t sure of what to do, and Neil helped, casually hugging him again. He felt Max’s grip tighten, but didn’t comment, not wanting to scare him off. As angry and sharp as he was, he was still their age, and he still had his weak spots.

After the storm, it’d become more noticeable, and Neil was actually quite happy to see that Max was talking again. Maybe he’d be able to finally talk to Harrison and they could all get over it, and leave it behind them. Who knew.

In the silence, Max finally relaxed in his grip, and Neil sighed with relief, not wanting to move or do much of anything.

As the rain poured, he couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

The next day, shuffling footsteps approached Harrison’s magic camp, and he looked up to see Max finally approaching him.

He squeaked, leaping back in shock, and instinctively held his arms out, as if expecting to be hit. His magic hat fell to the grass, and he trembled as Max approached. But, to his surprise, the hit never came.

“Fuck’s wrong with you?”

He… _ fuck!! _Harrison’s arms drifted down back awkwardly to his side, and he moved to pick his hat back up and put it on his head. Max had spoken. Quietly, with a rasp like it was painful to do so, but he’d actually talked- and to him, nonetheless! It was equally a good thing and a bad thing to hear, because he was expecting Max to really just yell at him.

“S-Sorry, Max,” Harrison stammered. “Just thought you were mad.”

“Oh, I am,” Max sneered, hands on his hips, eyes deep and dark with rage. “Oh boy, I’m fucking pissed off. At the world! At fucking nature, at the weather. You hear that storm yesterday?! Just like the one I had to deal with-” He cut himself off and pinched his own arm, flinching, “...Well, the one _ we _had to deal with. Fuck, so happy we’re not going to go hiking for a while.”

Harrison smiled awkwardly at the memory of what Gwen had done, but didn’t say anything about it.

“I… wanted to talk to you about the whole storm thing, by the way,” Max clicked his tongue and then released an awkward sigh. “I don’t know if people told you ‘bout this shit yet, but I am NOT mad at you, okay?”

“B-But-!” Harrison instantly leaped to protest.

“Hey, fuck, no,” Max snapped, “If anything it’s my fault for putting you through that shit anyway. You don’t like fire just as much as me, yeah? Completely fucked up what your powers were for. Pure entertainment, remember?”

“You’ve got a lot to say,” Harrison responded jokingly. Max cocked his head to the side.

“Course I fucking do! What would I be without my pissed-off-ness?”

“It’s been gone for a few weeks, you know…”

“So has the ability to use my leg without crutches, but it’s fucking better, isn’t it?” He scuffed it against the ground, and then winced, “Well, when I’m not running or intentionally using it anyway. Shit still fucking hurts.”

Harrison chuckled at the reassurance, but Max clearly still had more to say.

“...And hey, that situation still scarred _ my _dumb ass. I can say that for sure, probably. Only to you and maybe Neil anyway. As long as you don’t tell Nurf. Or Ered.” His voice died down for a moment, and then he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “...or Preston. Don’t tell Preston anything. Dammit, I’m getting off track.”

“It’s not your fault either,” Harrison replied.

Max’s eyes softened, and then very quietly, he replied. “...I know. Gotta blame it on someone, though. Considered David, but to be honest, I can’t blame him for anything anymore. Bitch’s too nice to be mad at now.”

Harrison just scoffed.

He saw the shorter boy grin and cross his arms, looking almost smug. “Dunno about you, but I’m tired of sulking. I’ve got someone to talk to for once now. And before you ask, it’s not you.” He gestured wildly, “I won’t talk about it much, but someone actually understands. So I need to stop being so fucking… y’know, and stop the baby act. You wanna go get some lunch?”

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, Harrison collecting himself before replying.

“...Sure.”

“Good. No more moping around, got it?”

“Yeah...”

* * *

Surprisingly enough, it ended truly when the woodscouts attacked.

“Surrender your camp or face the consequences, Camp Campbell campers! I, Edward Pikeman, will- OOF!”

Pikeman was cut off by the abrupt tiny fist slamming into his chest. The punch was weak, yet just powerful enough to send him stumbling back into Petrol’s chest, shaking his head with a low growl. Max had just punched him.

“Got more where that came from, you dumb bitch!” Max snapped, though it wasn’t all that threatening. His jade eyes were glittering with wolfish fury, though, something he’d truly perfected over the years to fend off some assholeish people.

To his surprise, however, instead of Pikeman being a man, he pointed to Petrol, and then gestured to Max, screeching at the top of his lungs; “GET HIM!”

Petrol grunted and then swiftly shot forward.

Max’s head shot up, and he squeaked (embarrassingly) before rolling out of the way, across the grass, and landing sprawled out against the grass. Petrol’s reaction time was shockingly slow, he managed to leap to his feet and crawl up the big dude’s body (Jesus, the stupid idiot was _ huge _), barely being able to put him in a choke-hold.

It was only a distraction, anyway. Didn’t matter if it worked.

“Nikki, NOW!”

Instantaneously, the feral mess that was one of his best friends leaped out of the shadows, slamming into Petrol with an untamed snarl, causing Max to yelp and leap back at the lack of balance. He rolled against the ground, feeling a twinge in his leg, and he winced with a growl. It’d healed, but sometimes it still hurt like that.

Nikki hardly noticed, still strifing with Petrol, and Max whirled around to face Pikeman, who had that stupid smug-ass expression on his face. He honest-to-god wished his punches were stronger, but hey, maybe he could verbally assault the asshole instead.

Then he noticed the woodscout leader was carrying a lighter.

Every muscle in Max’s body seized. 

“Well, well, well,” Pikeman gestured to the others, who were still fighting. Snake seemed caught up with Nerris and Preston, while Petrol continued to fight Nikki. The others were still kind of just… chasing Jermy around. “Looks like you’ve got us beat again, Camp Campbell!”

“Your point?” Max growled.

“And… you know, I’m starting to realize,” He began to pace at a dumb attempt at some kind of villains monologue. “I think I’ve learned the problem! It’s the fact that we’re so separated. These campgrounds are keep you from surrendering all your campers!”

Max coiled just a bit tighter into himself, stormy eyes narrowing with hesitation. Pikeman was so enthralled by his own speech that he felt annoyingly fucking compelled to continue, and Max felt like his breath had been punched out of him just at the sight of that lighter. Knowing what it implied, and lighters brought _ fire, and fire… _

“So, you know what that means!” Pikeman laughed maniacally, instead it just sounded like a dying animal, “The only thing to do now is to _ burn your camp to the ground!” _

The lighter flickered, and Max flinched back at the sudden flame as Pikeman brought it down to the dead grass. It only took a second for it to catch fire, and then the flames erupted, spreading through the field. He could hear Nikki squeak and the others cry out, and Snake laugh, but the only thing he was focused on was the flame.

He gripped his own hoodie sleeve, eyes blown wide with pure, unbridled _ horror. _ He couldn’t move. He wasn’t in the path of that shit, but still- but _ still- _ if he got burnt, he didn’t know what he’d- he didn’t want to- _ no… no no no no no… _

Max’s breath hitched and he barely managed to choke down a sob. His shoulders shivered. He thought he’d been over this- he’d been strategically avoiding times around the campfire for his entire recovery, and _ dammit! He should’ve expected this! He should’ve tested it out, to see if fire was okay! _

“Woah, dude-” Pikeman’s annoying voice caused his eyes to flicker away from the fire, just for a moment. He didn’t expect to see the confused pity in his eyes, but he did… staring him down with almost remorse for what the fuck he’d just done. “You okay?”

“Fuck off!” Max slurred, stepping away from the fire as much as possible. “God dammit Pikeman! We’re not gonna fucking surrender to you, so don’t pull shit like this!”

Pikeman’s face twitched, as if considering picking up the whole rivalry thing, before he took a step backwards, hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure. “I dunno, man, you look kinda messed up from that, I didn’t expect you to freak out, do you want me to-”

Max shoved him backward with a feral snarl that could combat Nikki’s. Pikeman stumbled, and with nobody to crash into, he landed ass-first onto the grass. To Max’s annoyance, he didn’t look very willing to fight him, which caused his heart to twist with anger.

Just before the stupid woodscout leader could say something, anything to protest, a new voice entered the field, ringing and echoing.

“What the _ FUCK?!” _

_ Finally! _

Max turned to face Gwen, who looked like she’d just rolled out of bed. Her fists were shaking, her hair down and messy, and most importantly, she had seemed to just lazily slapped her camp counselor clothes on, eye twitching. Probably hadn’t had her coffee yet.

“Gwen, what’s going on?!” David said sleepily, rushing to her side, and then stopping in his tracks as his eyes widened with recognition. “Oh. Oh my.”

“I’ll go get that there fire extinguisher,” Quartermaster mumbled, and _ when the fuck had he gotten here? _

Pikeman had stood back up, eyes shimmering with determination, Max’s weird relapse completely forgotten. “Fools! You think we’re done?! Even though your camp counselors are here, that doesn’t kill our spirit! This isn’t the last you’ll hear of us!”

Gwen just sighed, “David, can you get the water sprayer? Thanks.”

“No! Not the water sprayer!” Pikeman, with only one gesture, called the other woodscouts to his side, and they began to back away from camp, most likely returning to whatever hell they’d come from. “This isn’t the last you’ve heard from us, you hear me? Thi-”

“Just fuck off already!”

They did just that, and Max couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

He heard the fire extinguisher going off, and the light giggle of the other campers as they began to mingle with each other. Max just found himself standing there, seething at where they’d disappeared, and then he promptly dropped to his knees with a low sigh.

“So!” Nikki popped up at his side with that condescending, yet purring, curious voice. “Fire, huh? Didn’t know you didn’t like it!”

“I didn’t either,” Max replied with a mumbling growl, “How the hell did you figure that out by me just standing there anyway?”

“Mmm… I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid!” She chirped, and she’d completely contradicted herself, putting her hands on her hips. “I _ wanted _ to do a prank involving fire, but after that, nope! Wouldn’t touch those flames with an eighty foot pole!”

“Yeah,” Neil replied, popping up at their side. “You seemed pretty freaked out by that. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“You already fucking know what it’s about,” He hissed out, crossing his arms. “Pikeman noticed too, unfortunately. Bitch is probably going to use it against me, for all I know.”

“Yeah… probably,” Nikki muttered, “Hmm… you know what? You guys wanna go steal the ice cream?!”

Max’s shoulders slumped, and he concluded on shrugging helplessly and going, “Hell fucking yeah.”

Neil smiled at both of them. “Uh, of course. I’m hungry from all that fighting anyway.”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Neil! You were fighting _ Jermy _with the rest of the side bitches.”

“Have you _ smelled _that guy?! It’s worse than anything else you dealt with!”

“Fair enough, but still!”

As they began to bicker, Max couldn’t help but smile. The whole ordeal had haunted him for weeks now, hanging over his head, taunting him, but in that moment, he’d forgotten all about the flames and the fall. All he cared about was stealing that sweet fucking shit, and more importantly, being with his friends, as sappy as that sounded.

Maybe everything wasn’t so stupid after all.

Maybe, just maybe, he could learn to mend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat w/ me on tumblr: qolden-skies !!!
> 
> i'm not very proud of this one, i hate the pacing, but hey, it ties up all the loose ends that i wanted haha
> 
> edit 8 months later: fuck this chapter sucks and i might remake the work entirely lolll preplanning who


	11. a small update + probably going to rewrite?

i'm going to keep this as brief as possible, simply because i dont have as much support as i used to, but it needs to be done. i need closure, so you'll just get this sloppily written note.

honestly, looking back on this old shitty thing, i feel like i can do better.

i'm revisiting this account and this fandom months after finishing this project and looking at it with disgust, because there was so much _wrong _with it. i stated in a [tumblr post](https://qolden-skies.tumblr.com/post/626114914841509888/some-necessary-clarifications-for-the-self) (QnA that's never really going to be visited, but still) my actual thoughts about the whole thing; 

_"search and rescue fucking sucks. its basically my magnum opus as a content creator and its disheartening to see my hot garbage get so much attention, because i rushed the latest chapters, had little to no planning in the making of them, made shit up as i went along, and overall didnt have a finished product i was proud of in the slightest. i also had objectively wrong medical and legal procedures in the story, and i shouldve done more research._

_theres a likelihood i’ll leave it alone and let the kudos speak for themselves, but theres an equal chance i’ll go back and rewrite it because it fucking sucks and desperately needs it, the pacing is HORRIBLE and i could cut back a few chapters completely because theyre just boring filler. i could probably squeeze it into 5-7 chapters or so and crop all of the unnecessary bullshit."_

here's kind of an update to that:

my opinions on this fic stands true. i wrote this when i was in a better place in life, and i was too naive to tackle some genuinely serious topics that could've been handled more delicately. (mental health, for example. there was badly represented selective mutism and post-traumatic stress disorder) S&R lacked the research necessary (and the word count) to handle what i'd presented. there were too many loose ends. i was trying to justify mistakes and plotholes on my tumblr, and shot down any criticism (even if jokey) because i was unable to handle my own bad writing. (especially in the final chapter, i SHOULDVE stretched out some of that shit more or actually like, introduced plot threads earlier on. some of that couldve been a chapter of its OWN)

(as for the procedure itself & concept, i'd normally dislike it, but knowing camp campbell it feels like the dumb, dangerous shit that would be made up. so)

also, as i stated, this was a FIRST DRAFT. i had nothing planned except for a few scenes, and i didn't line everything out correctly so it's just absolute dogshit. i dont want this garbage to be what i was known for- so i want to fix it. 

i'm gonna be like, completely rewriting this.

this will stay open until i finish the newer version, since this is going to STAY the first draft. this is the "original" plot, but the original plot fucking sucks and the change is necessary. i wrote every chapter in a few hours and posted them less than an hour after the writing of them, and procrastinated for MONTHS on some. it's not a good process for fic writing. every single piece of writing youve seen from me was a first draft. i never put any heart or time into it, i only finished this because i had constant reminders to get off my ass and stop being lazy.

not much else to say here, i have my point across. this fic is shit, the pacing is too fast in some places and has too much filler in others, there were mis-represented themes of mental health, legal and medical procedures, and this ABSOLUTELY did not deserve the support it got. also like, some of the characterization was BAD (ered is so hard to write?? same with nurf and dolph and space kid? my hyperfixations only involve the main trio / performance trio and it shows. so i'm probably going to limit down my writing to them. maybe i'll find a way to retcon out the 4 i cant do shit about)

one more thing, though.

thanks for the support, even if i didn't deserve it. this REALLY bad fic WAS still a learning experience for me, and even if it dwindled once i started adventuring with new fandoms and things i was passionate about, the initial support gave me motivation to actually finish something for once, hot garbage or not. that's something i'm not expecting in the rewrite- i'm just doing this all for closure. 

if you still enjoy this version of the fic, it's fine! i'm just not proud of it anymore. 

that's all i guess? i don't know when i'll finish the rewrite (i'll probably write it all and then post weekly when i'm done) but i guess i'll post updates on my tumblr (qolden-skies) and answer questions about future projects if you're still curious to see where i take my work in this dying fandom. 

that's it. yeah.

see y'all on the flipside. thanks for everything


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